Dispatches from the City of Angels
I'm a writer and humorist living in and writing about Los Angeles. You can catch my novel LOSING CLEMENTINE out March 6 from William Morrow. In the meantime, feel free to poke around. Over at my website you can find even more blog entries than I could fit here, as well as a few other ramblings. Enjoy and come back often.
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Favorite Quotes:
"Taint what a horse looks like, it’s what a horse be." - A Hat Full of Sky by Terry Pratchett
"Trying to take it easy after you've finished a manuscript is like trying to take it easy when you have a grease fire on a kitchen stove." - Jan Burke
"Put on your big girl panties, and deal with it." - Mom
"How you do anything is how you do everything."
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The gods are angry...and so are the koalas
I always feel guilty when the blog has been neglected for a few days. So I've oozed into my chair, clutching my hot tea, basket of medications and a box of tissues.
It is very clear to me that I have angered the gods. Friday, I got the flu. By Sunday, I felt better. I felt so good in fact that I stupidly spit in the eye of fate by actually saying how much better I felt. The fates don't like this. By Monday, I was an oozing ball of snot. So snotty, in fact, that I couldn't lie down for 36 hours for fear of cutting off my own air passages.
Today, I have smeared myself in so much eucalyptus chest rub that I'm starting to attract koala bears. Whole herds of the ruddy beasts are lined up outside my apartment door. They have demands. They're sending in a negotiator. Pretty soon the ACLU will be involved. One of them will be interviewed on Larry King.
In the meantime, I'm hoping for a world record on largest pile of used tissues amassed in a single day. Wish me luck. And if you know of a good koala repellent, be sure to let me know.
It is very clear to me that I have angered the gods. Friday, I got the flu. By Sunday, I felt better. I felt so good in fact that I stupidly spit in the eye of fate by actually saying how much better I felt. The fates don't like this. By Monday, I was an oozing ball of snot. So snotty, in fact, that I couldn't lie down for 36 hours for fear of cutting off my own air passages.
Today, I have smeared myself in so much eucalyptus chest rub that I'm starting to attract koala bears. Whole herds of the ruddy beasts are lined up outside my apartment door. They have demands. They're sending in a negotiator. Pretty soon the ACLU will be involved. One of them will be interviewed on Larry King.
In the meantime, I'm hoping for a world record on largest pile of used tissues amassed in a single day. Wish me luck. And if you know of a good koala repellent, be sure to let me know.
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