Dispatches from the City of Angels
I'm a writer and humorist living in and writing about Los Angeles. You can catch my novel LOSING CLEMENTINE out March 6 from William Morrow. In the meantime, feel free to poke around. Over at my website you can find even more blog entries than I could fit here, as well as a few other ramblings. Enjoy and come back often.
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Favorite Quotes:
"Taint what a horse looks like, it’s what a horse be." - A Hat Full of Sky by Terry Pratchett
"Trying to take it easy after you've finished a manuscript is like trying to take it easy when you have a grease fire on a kitchen stove." - Jan Burke
"Put on your big girl panties, and deal with it." - Mom
"How you do anything is how you do everything."
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Firecracker Run
Oh. My. God.
The following is a quote from the Chinatown Firecracker Run website about the course.
"The 10K course is considered challenging as it winds its way through Elysian Park (see elevation map). This should not deter you as you will find many fellow runners competing at all levels. Whatever your competitive bent, you should enjoy the scenery and the camaraderie of fellow runners."
Challenging? Really. For two and a half miles, the road shot straight up. Straight. Up. Two and a half miles. Near the top - I didn't know it was the top because the road was so steep you couldn't see what was over the ridge - I started making deals with myself.
"Okay, Stinky," I said. "You really, really want to die. But here's the compromise. You can't die right now. BUT if there is one more inch of elevation after that tree up there, then you can die. You have complete permission to lie down in the middle of the road in the fetal position until the fire department comes to get you. Okay? Okay."
And let me tell you, when you haven't seen a water stop in awhile, when all the blood has left your brain, when one lung has collapsed and you're using the bloody stump leg of a fellow runner as a crutch to make it up Mount Everest, there is very little "camaraderie." Mostly, it's Lord of the Flies. The feisty ones'll cut you for your last packet of GU.
Six miles in, still on my feet, however delirious and exhausted, I finally saw the finish line in the distance. There was a huge crowd. Loved ones were standing on the sidelines snapping pictures of their runners. People waved. The theme from "Chariots of Fire" played in my head. I crossed the finish and - still full of grandeur - looked around for my husband.
I found him. Leaning against a building, reading a book.
"Honey."
No response.
"Yo, babe!"
Nothing.
"HEY!"
He looked up. "What?"
"I'm done."
"K."
No chance of a swelled head in this house. (Although, I still finished nearly four minutes ahead of my goal time. And maybe I was still humming "Chariots of Fire" - just a little bit. I really couldn't help myself.)
The following is a quote from the Chinatown Firecracker Run website about the course.
"The 10K course is considered challenging as it winds its way through Elysian Park (see elevation map). This should not deter you as you will find many fellow runners competing at all levels. Whatever your competitive bent, you should enjoy the scenery and the camaraderie of fellow runners."
Challenging? Really. For two and a half miles, the road shot straight up. Straight. Up. Two and a half miles. Near the top - I didn't know it was the top because the road was so steep you couldn't see what was over the ridge - I started making deals with myself.
"Okay, Stinky," I said. "You really, really want to die. But here's the compromise. You can't die right now. BUT if there is one more inch of elevation after that tree up there, then you can die. You have complete permission to lie down in the middle of the road in the fetal position until the fire department comes to get you. Okay? Okay."
And let me tell you, when you haven't seen a water stop in awhile, when all the blood has left your brain, when one lung has collapsed and you're using the bloody stump leg of a fellow runner as a crutch to make it up Mount Everest, there is very little "camaraderie." Mostly, it's Lord of the Flies. The feisty ones'll cut you for your last packet of GU.
Six miles in, still on my feet, however delirious and exhausted, I finally saw the finish line in the distance. There was a huge crowd. Loved ones were standing on the sidelines snapping pictures of their runners. People waved. The theme from "Chariots of Fire" played in my head. I crossed the finish and - still full of grandeur - looked around for my husband.
I found him. Leaning against a building, reading a book.
"Honey."
No response.
"Yo, babe!"
Nothing.
"HEY!"
He looked up. "What?"
"I'm done."
"K."
No chance of a swelled head in this house. (Although, I still finished nearly four minutes ahead of my goal time. And maybe I was still humming "Chariots of Fire" - just a little bit. I really couldn't help myself.)
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