Dispatches from the City of Angels
I'm a writer and humorist living in and writing about Los Angeles. You can catch my novel LOSING CLEMENTINE out March 6 from William Morrow. In the meantime, feel free to poke around. Over at my website you can find even more blog entries than I could fit here, as well as a few other ramblings. Enjoy and come back often.
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Favorite Quotes:
"Taint what a horse looks like, it’s what a horse be." - A Hat Full of Sky by Terry Pratchett
"Trying to take it easy after you've finished a manuscript is like trying to take it easy when you have a grease fire on a kitchen stove." - Jan Burke
"Put on your big girl panties, and deal with it." - Mom
"How you do anything is how you do everything."
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Talking underpants and the World Cup
I am obsessed with the World Cup.
Unfortunately, I have the worst cable service in the history of modern man. There are sherpas in Nepal getting more channels on their yak-powered, 10-inch black and white than I have. If it's not on UPN or Lifetime, I'm screwed.
And as I don't get ESPN 1 or 2, I'm watching the games on Univision, the Spanish language channel. That would be fine except I don't speak Spanish. And still, ninety percent of the time, it's not so bad. Sport transcends language. So do rude hand gestures. And it turns out "Gooooooal!" is pretty universal. What doesn't transcend is advertising.
If you haven't watched Univision lately, you may not know that they don't just dub English commercials into Spanish. It's a whole new crop you've never seen before. For example, a shamrock, a horseshoe and a rabbit's foot are sitting on a couch. Talking underpants walk in.
I am not making this up.
I don't get it either. But I think it was supposed to make me eat at McDonald's...or maybe it was drink Coke. I can't remember. Who can process an ad's message when there are talking underpants?
Not that I object. I think all commercials should have talking underpants. I particularly think all political ads should have talking underpants...as long as the candidates aren't actually WEARING the talking underpants, because, you know, ewww. Also at that point it's basically a South Park episode, which is really only funny animated. Nobody actually wants to see John McCain in his tighty-whities, probably not even John McCain.
...Wait, were we talking about soccer?...Go USA!
Unfortunately, I have the worst cable service in the history of modern man. There are sherpas in Nepal getting more channels on their yak-powered, 10-inch black and white than I have. If it's not on UPN or Lifetime, I'm screwed.
And as I don't get ESPN 1 or 2, I'm watching the games on Univision, the Spanish language channel. That would be fine except I don't speak Spanish. And still, ninety percent of the time, it's not so bad. Sport transcends language. So do rude hand gestures. And it turns out "Gooooooal!" is pretty universal. What doesn't transcend is advertising.
If you haven't watched Univision lately, you may not know that they don't just dub English commercials into Spanish. It's a whole new crop you've never seen before. For example, a shamrock, a horseshoe and a rabbit's foot are sitting on a couch. Talking underpants walk in.
I am not making this up.
I don't get it either. But I think it was supposed to make me eat at McDonald's...or maybe it was drink Coke. I can't remember. Who can process an ad's message when there are talking underpants?
Not that I object. I think all commercials should have talking underpants. I particularly think all political ads should have talking underpants...as long as the candidates aren't actually WEARING the talking underpants, because, you know, ewww. Also at that point it's basically a South Park episode, which is really only funny animated. Nobody actually wants to see John McCain in his tighty-whities, probably not even John McCain.
...Wait, were we talking about soccer?...Go USA!
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