The Egyptians had it easy. Okay, so there were locusts, and nobody's saying that river of blood was a cake walk, but did they have weird itchy eye goop? I think not.

This ties in nicely with the blog's technical stated purpose. After all, these are Dispatches from the City of Angels. And the City of Angels causes itchy eye goop. I'm convinced of it. Several of my non-native friends (and really, is anyone a native Los Angelino?) have developed strange allergies - not at all surprising when you consider that our mountain views are often obscured by yellow smog. There's one 30-something who, after years of kitty exposure, developed a sudden inability to be around cat dander. Another randomly developed dairy intolerance, which clears up after several days out of town, only to return immediately upon touch down at LAX. My husband, notable for only having been sick approximately three times in his life, is swallowing antihistamines like peanut M&Ms.

Me? Itchy eye goop, which is keeping me out of both my contacts and my eye makeup. If you really want to piss off a girl, let me tell ya, take away her contacts and mascara.

So now I count the hours until my doctor's appointment where I will point to my bespectacled, de-make up-ed peepers and demand, "Fix it!"

I'm sure he'll appreciate that. But, really, what could he expect? I had to leave my matte finish satin taupe eyeshadow at home.