We've got some technical issues over here. You might have noticed. The sort of technical issues that lead to frantic e-mails to customer support when you can't log in to your own blog and then a near stroke when you can because Jesus-Mary-and-Joseph what the hell just happened?

Fifty percent of the punctuation on four years' worth of blog entries now looks like this: #&*%^. I know. There are more e-mails to tech support. I may have to fix them all by hand, the mere idea of which makes we want to stick hot pokers in my eyes. I'm hoping for some sort of magical fix on their end. There was an "upgrade." And what was before just fine is now a mess.

My stress level may have something to do with my neighbor who, during this process, has been playing "Jingle Bells" on the piano pressed against our shared wall at one-quarter speed while a child screams.

Eye twitch? What eye twitch?

Excuse me while I go press my face into the cold tile floor and whimper.