Dispatches from the City of Angels
I'm a writer and humorist living in and writing about Los Angeles. You can catch my novel LOSING CLEMENTINE out March 6 from William Morrow. In the meantime, feel free to poke around. Over at my website you can find even more blog entries than I could fit here, as well as a few other ramblings. Enjoy and come back often.
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Favorite Quotes:
"Taint what a horse looks like, it’s what a horse be." - A Hat Full of Sky by Terry Pratchett
"Trying to take it easy after you've finished a manuscript is like trying to take it easy when you have a grease fire on a kitchen stove." - Jan Burke
"Put on your big girl panties, and deal with it." - Mom
"How you do anything is how you do everything."
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The Light Separated the Dark
I have electricity! And it is good.
Something went bad wrong with the lines that service my block, and I was in the dark for about 32 hours, which, in case you were wondering, really sucks. For one thing, all that meat you just bought at Costco is now so much hotel space for gut-gnawing bacteria.
That leftover shrimp you were saving? Stink bomb!
Yogurt, milk, cream? Trash. Trash. Trash.
But that's not the worst of it. Oh, no. I had a writers' association board meeting in those 32 hours. I had to bathe. (No, really. I did.) And guess what's electric? Water heater! A cold, naked woman standing alone in the dark trying to decide between a cold shower and a cold bath. It wasn't pretty, people. I went for the bath, thinking it was like a pool. I'd acclimate.
Yeah, not so much.
I even tried lighting my gas stove with a match and boiling a soup pot full of water and adding it to the arctic flow coming from the tap. You know what? Didn't help at all. Not even a little. Still every bit as cold as a polar bear's behind, which means you can't believe everything you read in Little House on the Prairie.
I did manage to eek out just enough battery life on my laptop to finish outlining the rewrites for my new book. (I'm sort of hoping my agent reads that. I was huddled in the dark working on my rewrites. I am the best client ever.)
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go turn some things off and on just because I can.
Something went bad wrong with the lines that service my block, and I was in the dark for about 32 hours, which, in case you were wondering, really sucks. For one thing, all that meat you just bought at Costco is now so much hotel space for gut-gnawing bacteria.
That leftover shrimp you were saving? Stink bomb!
Yogurt, milk, cream? Trash. Trash. Trash.
But that's not the worst of it. Oh, no. I had a writers' association board meeting in those 32 hours. I had to bathe. (No, really. I did.) And guess what's electric? Water heater! A cold, naked woman standing alone in the dark trying to decide between a cold shower and a cold bath. It wasn't pretty, people. I went for the bath, thinking it was like a pool. I'd acclimate.
Yeah, not so much.
I even tried lighting my gas stove with a match and boiling a soup pot full of water and adding it to the arctic flow coming from the tap. You know what? Didn't help at all. Not even a little. Still every bit as cold as a polar bear's behind, which means you can't believe everything you read in Little House on the Prairie.
I did manage to eek out just enough battery life on my laptop to finish outlining the rewrites for my new book. (I'm sort of hoping my agent reads that. I was huddled in the dark working on my rewrites. I am the best client ever.)
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go turn some things off and on just because I can.
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