You know when you have a ZIT? Not a zit. No, that's not what we're talking about. I mean when you have a zit that ate Manhattan and then tunneled down to the bottom-most layers of epidermis to lay eggs. That kind of zit.

And you know when you try to leave it alone but it just gets worse and worse and worse and starts to actually hurt so you do what any sane person would do? You try to pop it. But of course, you can't really because it's so deep it's practically in China. And then what you have is like a half zit, half oozing flesh wound.

And you know how it's even more tempting to mess with it then?

Here's what you should not do. You should not put petroleum jelly on the scab to keep yourself from picking at it. Why, you ask? Because petroleum jelly melts zit scabs into some sort of alien goo that should never, ever be anywhere near your face. So consider that next time you plan to put Vaseline on something. It could eat your face off.

This concludes my public service announcement.