The following website is absolutely genuine and wildly inappropriate, which is exactly why we're going to talk about it. If, however, discussions of the male anatomy and hair removal thereof offend you, I understand. This would be an excellent time to click somewhere else 'cause we're about to talk about some balls.

Still here?

Good.

Two words: Norelco Bodygroom.

Don't think you need a Norelco Bodygroom? Au contraire.

"Did you know that women like men who shave down there? Having silky smooth balls is a lot nicer than...choking on your pubes!"

See? Choking hazard! This product is endorsed by OSHA. How is it that you don't have one already?

What? You already have a razor? Not good enough, the website tells us.

"Once again, if it was made to shave your face then don't use it to shave your balls!...Plus it is very nasty if you use the same shaving foil on the electric shaver to then shave your face."

But what if you experience crotch itch following your use of the Norelco Bodygroom?

Covered! Just get yourself some Balla Powder. For your convenience, your Balla Powder also comes in a "tingle" formula 'cause when your balls are itchy, burning is the next step. And don't worry. That Balla Powder is "asbestos free," which does sort of imply that other sack talc might not be asbestos free, might possibly contain other carcinogens, maybe also yellowcake uranium.

So go forth and purchase! But be "extra careful because no guy wants to cut their balls!"

(It's like these blog posts just write themselves.)