This is me post-mindfulness - who knows what, if any, difference it will make.

Meeting with H was grand. Amongst much other stuff, she told me that all the people who were working at the unit four years ago are still there, which is a reassuring lack of staff turnover. We've agreed that I'm going to do an art group on Mondays (they don't call it art for nutters, but I do, fondly), which I'm looking forward to. I struggled to find an art class I could manage, then gave up and I miss it. I don't have to go every week, but it's there. In November I'll start a 'self-care' group, which I think is my best fit. It'll be the same format as before, a weekly meeting during which they present some aspect of how we could make things easier for ourselves, at a theoretical level, and there's loads of discussion without any requirement to reveal anything or indeed speak at all. Each week there'll also be a one-to-one with our assigned CPN, for working it through personally. She told me how long it will last but I've forgotten.

A text came while I was there, to say that ED's appt is next Wednesday. This is a bit of a bugger, because I've committed myself to too many things and will be driving up and down, round and round the fucking motorway system day after day, starting tomorrow and finally home on Thursday. I think. All plans subject to change at short notice.

Very tired.

Still grateful though. For: being a 'service user' again - comforting this time, not shaming (done with shame - though sorry for not replying to comments, I find myself stupidly overwhelmed a lot of the time); comments still coming despite my lack of response; having the energy to make a mini oxtail stew in the slow cooker, delicious; no time to brood; resigned to colder weather

xxx