Everything closes down over Christmas and the New Year. No yoga, no counselling for two weeks. Feels scary. And starting with a funeral this Friday of our friend Dave, who carefully planned and successfully executed the end of his life and I never knew it was like that for him, I just didn't know and oh how I wish I could reach out and grab him back and tell him it will be all right, we can do this, there will be a way, this will pass, it always passes and yes, it does come back (it's back now, can you tell?), but it always passes again and we will laugh, honest we will. But I can't, all I can do is go to his funeral on Friday and determine not to let anyone else I care about feel such despair, but even then that's bollocks as I'm ignoring almost everyone, shut down, not answering the phone, one foot in front of the other, on we go, this will pass.

Today in pictures.

1. There was a beautiful light on the sea this morning but it had gone by the time I had my phone out:




2. Not the happy bunny:



3. That's me bottom left, liking the reflections:



4. I like the whatever it's called on the right, looking at the bird, bringing that hippy-shite mural into the present:



5. I bought sprats for dinner tonight, very cheap. The online recipe I found (fry 'em) mentioned cutting off the heads first and giving them to the cat. Which I did and while they were cooking they reminded me of this song, which gets better as it progresses, honest, and was on the only video tape we had back in 1982 or some year like that - we'd recorded the New Year's Eve 'best of the year round-up' edition of The Old Grey Whistle Test, a music programme and played it over and over again



so I took this picture: