Phew, not joining the cancer club just yet, thank fuck. It was kind of cool, seeing inside my bladder, though I didn't like the sensation of a stranger scrabbling around my bits, trying to insert something in a hole not designed to receive objects. They pump some kind of liquid in there as well, a bit too much, so as soon as it was over I needed a wee, which was cold and very weird. Now they're sending me for a scan in case I have kidney stones, but I have no symptoms so I'm not in a blind panic about that.

All this makes me think of my American friend Barb (aka awittykitty) who died an unnecessarily early death because of the American health system. She developed a melanoma on her chin, had insurance, but still couldn't find a doctor to even look at it for months, fucking MONTHS, by which time it had metastasised and she still couldn't get treatment. So she died. She may have died anyway, but in the richest country in the world no one would even try to save her until it was too late.

Whereas here, under the NHS:

1. I had an automatic health check as a new patient at my local GP.
2. Although I had no symptoms and the chances of it being cancer were small, when a trace of blood was detected in my urine, I was asked for a further, larger sample to be sent to the lab for more thorough testing.
3. Phone call the next day from the doctor who said he'd now referred me to the hospital for this endoscopy - I didn't have to do anything.
4. Endoscopy shows nothing, but they're not going to leave it. There shouldn't be blood in my urine, but there is and they're going to find out why.

None of this has cost me anything (except stress, obvs). My life and health are important. If Barb had turned up at a British GP's with a melanoma, she'd have been seen at oncology within days. At the time, it would have been the same day - I had a funny mole once and the doc phoned the hospital while I was there to say she was sending me and my mole up there right now. Don't expect it's quite that good any more, though it may be - the NHS has always been top class for urgent situations.

So I was glad to be found clear, but it made me miss Barb with a sharp pang of anger on her behalf.

And now they've voted to bomb Syria, which appals me. I am so disgusted at their willingness to kill civilians after all the tears shed for the French victims. How can they possibly see a difference? Those poor people.

And fuck knows what's occurring in the US - multiple shooters at a centre for disabled people? Which is the 352nd mass shooting this year, though clearly we only hear about the ones that have a unique selling point.

This is a vile fucking world and no mistake. I know there's a lot of good being done and loads of good people, but honestly, we cannot call our societies civilised, they are a fucking disgrace.

Today I am grateful for: the all clear; Bloke coming to the hospital with me; YD being cheerful; a cosy warm living room to keel over in; Corbyn again, for at least being a voice of reason - it would have been unbearable if they'd all been united in their desire to do something with no discernible benefit to anyone but with certain death to some.

Sorry for being so grumpy and sweary but fucking hell, I don't know if I'm more livid or depressed.

xxx