I just accidentally deleted a post where I was forcing myself into a positive attitude, so fuck that, here's four things that are pissing me off

1. I can hear how the thoughts in my head are almost totally negative right now, but don't believe the opposite is true. E.g. I hate living in this fucking village and want to go back to the city, like I WANT TO GO BACK TO THE CITY! Now! I am desperate. This place is just awful and will always make me feel depressed as there's nothing here apart from acres and acres of cheap ugly housing for fucking miles. I know I didn't feel like this a few months ago, but how can that have been? I want to go home.

2. Fuck off about the poxy Star Wars film. And fuck off that Carrie Fisher "slayed" the twats who called her old and ugly. She responded, but they won't have given a shit about what she said, she's an ugly old woman, why would they take any notice of her? So don't describe it as if she's changed anyone's mind, because she hasn't. I say this with the authority of being an ugly old woman. Not that I feel ugly, particularly, but I know what's what.

3. Current events are making me despair as well. Today a woman's family received a letter telling her she wasn't ill enough for benefits, and it was the day she died, of a degenerative disease that was always going to kill her, and this is beyond belief, this kind of government-sanctioned cruelty and abuse of the weakest members of our society - how has this happened, how can it be real and not some kind of vile nightmare and when can I wake up?

4. That's enough.