Today I:

1. Got to art group, which was very busy, too busy for my current taste. Had to sit all close up and not occupy too much of the table. I made two little paintings, neither of which I liked much, but I managed to get into a good playful place on the second one. Tick.

2. Went to my brother's after art, for lunch. He lives near the day centre, works from home on Fridays and we're playing nice, mending our relationship after a big falling out a while ago. He made soup. I stayed about an hour and a quarter, just the right amount of time. Tick. (But I did get quite intense and emotional talking about our other brother who is a patronising arse. Not tick) (But hey, he laughed at me, which upset me, I'm allowed to be upset, so not not tick)

3. I came home and met YD and spent an hour with her. Love her. Ticks all round.

4. I walked my steps in the fading light and picked up shitloads of wood - a bag of small pieces, some planks and a whole pallet, which I carried for ages up and across the banked up shingle beach. I feel at ease being the old lady with the hat and the stick, lugging wood across the beach to a battered old dirty car. I can be that person for a while. And it's free heating. Shame I didn't think of it earlier.

5. In between, I kept on knitting a scarf for Bloke using the nicest wool I have. Trying to finish it before the cold weather goes.

And that sounds like a good day of keeping going, doing right things. And now I've written it down as well. Exercise, creativity, nature, human connection. I don't feel good about it, or bad, just a bit numb. Well, a lot numb.

Hope your days have been good.

I am grateful for: the beach; the clean air; a fireplace; a computer; my bed. And numb - there's worse than numb.

sweet dreams xxx