As part of my recovery programme I have been asked to try and form a picture of me when I'm well, at my best - canvassing friends and family for their views. This was what they texted to me when asked for an adjective or two:

1. Clever, thoughtful, creative, feisty, generous-hearted
2. Creative, empathetic, loyal, adventurous, long-suffering, funny, loving
3.Creative, communicator, rebellious
4.Relaxed, connected to others and to life, enjoys things, seems to cope with whatever is happening. She laughs, listens well, is creative, supportive, in the flow and at peace.
5.Capable, smart, competent, sharp, funny

Number four wrote an essay, which was kind of nice but also weird.

I have done over twenty days of Headspace guided meditations: ten of ten minutes, ten of fifteen and a few odd ten minute stand-alones. I'm meant to be moving up to twenty minutes now, but I don't think I will, in fact I'll probably go back to ten. Ten minutes is perfect though my mental health worker says I should keep going on the longer ones without judgement about my mind drifting off. I want her to leave me alone. I think I'm doing OK, considering, keeping my head down, putting one foot in front of the other. The meditation is definitely calming and steadying.

I've sold quite a few paintings of beach huts:







but only to people I know, which is great, amazing, I'm not knocking it, I just mean I haven't yet managed to try and sell them down town. Although that's quite a big step, becoming a sales person for your own stuff so I shouldn't give myself too hard a time over not being able to do it straight away.

Also, keeping up the yoga and the walking and have had a few swims in the sea but it's been a fuck of a windy summer so far, which doesn't make you want to get into cold water.

Grateful for: people who like my paintings enough to buy one; living on the coast; liking posting my photoaday pics on Instagram and getting brief connections with random people all over the planet, including African countries, which is pretty cool; finding a place that sells nice Italian dresses in one big size, not expensive; having my car mended.

Sweet dreams xxx