Sleep-deprived, I may have spoken too fast and been somewhat clumsy during what was otherwise a marvelous lunch with awesome company.

I told my friend M about the project I set up for myself; list people who have had an important impact on my life during the last year or two, narrow down on the emotional core of these relationships by summarizing my deepest, un-self-censored feelings toward them in four or five sentences, and then contacting them, bearing only the truth.

I haven't finished working my way through the list. So far, each response has been very positive and has made me -- and the other person, according to them -- feel better.

If we have something to say as human beings, we may as well say it now, right? Doesn't look like we'll be doing much talking when we're dead.

I revealed my initial alienation and jealousy to my high-school friend MF.

I revealed to J, my dear friend for so many years, that I had a crush on her -- more, a sense of a relationship which I wanted to express physically -- when I was 18 and 19.

I admitted to C that I befriended her seven years ago out of a prime desire to get in her pants (bizarrely impractical at the time).

On and on...

... And now I can't help but wonder if M was curious as to whether or not she was on the list.

If she is -- no sense in revealing that here! -- if you ARE in fact on the list, M, then you should be finding out pretty soon.

These last few posts verge on adolescent self-indulgence. I'll forgive myself for them some day.