I found myself shaking when I arrived at work yesterday. I told Brit I was a nervous wreck to have to deal with the Chris thing. She said don't worry about it, he was fine with her on Tuesday. We were busy, which helped most. I hummed Modest Mouse and tried to forget about it, but knew I had to say something eventually.

He said something first. When Britni and I were together he asked if we had plans to undermine him this evening. I said we did but that we couldn't give them away, as that would take all the fun out of it. My big line turned out to be, "Chris, you'd make fun of me if you knew how upset I was about the whole thing all week." He asked what upset me. "My reaction," I said.

Right before, a drenched group of girls had come in out of the storm. The one who ordered gave the name, "Bright Sky." I asked her to repeat it, just to be sure I'd heard right. Next thing I knew, the sky did brighten, in every respect. Cheesy, yes. But this is a pizza shop I'm talking about. On that hand, extra cheesy. The weather took an amazing turn all of a sudden, and the tension among folks gave way. I even tucked all the hair hanging in my face behind my ears for the first time that night.

...Though I am still depressed. I am at the point in my cycle of neurosis of feeling I have nothing to lose. I cried after I took the kids to the duck pond today: I pulled into the parking lot and, at Rachel's first whine, pulled right back out to head home.

I'm in a pretty good place at the moment, regardless of the -$3 bank statement, my depression, and late fixations. My good place has my kids in their good places. I honored myself and they responded naturally well.