Mom was OK. She spent a bit too much time for my good sense on the phone in my driveway dragging on cigarettes. It's the addiction, stupid. And I'm in limbo today, so not here or there with a stance on anything; I didn't feel like talking about the latest relative in detox, though everyone else seems to be getting fired up about it, passionate even. I remember the feeling.

Is there nothing else to do in Cleveland!

It's my sister's sister-in-law. The mom-in-law is me in the situation. She's trying a lot to help. She wants to and thinks she has to. It's probably tougher on a parent than it was for me as a spouse. Hope I never find out. But the mom is at the place where she thinks she's nipping this in the bud. It ain't over, but I won't tell her that unless she asks me. The next time, the relapse, she'll care less but be angry, angry that she's angry. And the next time, she'll finally say you're on your own, kid. That'll be the chance for her daughter to get well. The loved ones perpetuate the sickness, strange as that sounds.

It makes both my husband and I sick to think about it. It's easy to drum up the former feelings, though why would anyone want to? I've learned to be compassionate with the disease. I want to see her normal as soon as possible, so I mention it here for some prayers.

And my mom is doing really well. She likes her new job; her pay is fantastic and her nights are occupied. She partakes in the dirty deed on the weekends but is present during the week, during our visits. She returned from smoking happy to play with Lloyd. (I wonder what today's kids' attitudes about smoking will be when faced with the decision to try it; mine already know they don't like it taking their grandparents away from them, which, as a kid, I didn't experience. Smoking was everywhere in my childhood years--running in gym class was a joke. I've only been away from my own addiction and second-hand smoke for the past eight.)

And me? I fear I have absolutely nothing to complain about. Except finding the perfect job would be nice. I'm eating right, the kids are following the house rules I posted after exorcising them, I'm finishing up some home repair projects I started months ago, and I'm cool with being a nobody right now. A shrinking nobody, at that.