In my post describing Ho'oponopono I allude to the fact that for some people (myself included) the process of healing it brings about can be an intense experience i.e. things can get harder before they get easier.

I thought I would follow up on this topic because it's one which if not understood could at a minimum set someone back on the Path.

In my experience there have been about five distinct experiences by which transformation has effected in my life - grace, asking for something i.e. patience, energy work, and what I call 'radical' transformation of which Ho'oponopono and Violet Flame Meditation are two examples.

* Grace is by far the grooviest experience of transformation and possibly one of the rarest. I won't claim to have been a good student in the nine years I attended Catholic school but my understanding of what the Catholics call 'grace' is that it's truly a gift which only requires that you receive it. You might be wanting something in your life, say more patience, or something out of your life e.g. anger and if an act of grace occurs, it's done, just like that.

While this may be explainable in psychological terms (and in general I don't concern myself as much as I used to about what is 'spiritual' and what is 'psychological') I have experienced something once which I think was grace and it truly is a gift.

* Invocation. Suppose you come to the realization that you have little patience and wish to change that so you ask the Universe / Deity of your choice for Patience. I think that many of us who are new to the Path are expecting a Grace experience but what we get instead are a flood of experiences which try our patience which we find surprising and not quite to our liking.

I realized that it's like building up physically - if you want to increase your cardiovascular system, you need to get out there and exercise (visualization notwithstanding) - patience, optimism, serenity, trust or any other attribute we may be seeking in our lives is like any other skill or muscle in that it usually requires practice to develop.

As hard as it may be to see at the time, an increase in experiences which seem to be the opposite of what you've invoked are actually a sign of a Loving Universe / Creator - you asked for help in developing say patience and She responded with a set of experiences tailored to help you develop that.

I've found that as I've integrated this perspective that it's easier to be grateful when experiences like this occur.

* Energy work can sometimes feel like a grace experience and sometimes like a radical experience. Not sure what the deal is with that.

* I learned of Violet Flame Meditation about six years into my journey. Prior to this I did not have any experience in radical transformation so I had no idea what I was in for.

I was working on a new project in it's initial stages - if I was able to deliver what the clients wanted in three weeks I'd likely have more contract work from them for the foreseeable future. I did the meditation for I think three nights in a row. Three things then occurred which took the next week to play out:

• I realized the amount of work needed to complete the project was at least three times what I thought it was and began working longer hours.
• My kids started requiring more time and attention.
• I got sick. Looking back I don't think I was actually sick but experiencing the effect of a detoxing triggered by the VFM.

In short, I felt like I was being boxed in from all sides. It was by far the most stressful experience in my life up to that time.

Since then I've used a VFM rarely, mostly when I'm at the end of my rope and realize that a radical experience seems to be my only option.

I've previously written about my experiences with Ho'oponopono which seem to be less radical than a VFM albeit radical enough in my experience to warrant a heads up to anyone who may use it.

With six billion plus of us on the planet clearly there's going to be a wide range of responses to any transformative or healing experience so YMMV.

What I've found helpful is experience - knowing that what is happening is normal for me, knowing how the process unfolds and knowing that I will come through it on the other side more whole than I was before.

My recommendation is that for someone who doesn't have experience with radical healing tools is to be aware that this could happen and to build a support network of friends and/or family who can help you through a healing crisis if one should occur.