One Girl's Journey
Effervescence is a state of mind. It's about choosing to bring sunshine to the day.
Every person I meet matters.
If it's written down, I know it (If it's not written down, I don't know it)
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2008-11-20 5:00 PM
Matchmaking - I joke frequently (probably too much) about how my friends should/could be helping me find someone to date. When it goes past the first laughter to "well, what matters to you?" I use my standard "top four" (non-negotiable) requirements:
Now, the first one might seem obvious, but not always. (a) Some people have polyamorous lifestyles, and I'm just being honest that this is not me. I have nothing against my friends who are, but I'm not wired like they are. (b) One or two friends have joked "Can we break someone up for you?" I *HOPE* they're just teasing, but one never can be too cautious. *grin*
The second one is fairly obvious to me: I love being part of the SCA. If someone couldn't deal with the SCA, we'd be a poor match.
The third is not always obvious, especially since people have known me in some religious settings: But I'm supportive of gay rights, gay marriage, homosexuals, bisexuals, transgender -- the spectrum. If someone wanted to date me but was homophobic or non-supportive, that would be a poor match.
The final one has me stumped sometimes, and today I actually felt more sadness than usual [hence the burning need to write a journal entry]. I know one couple with very VERY different religous views and yet a super strong marriage, but they're not the norm. (He's Christian/Protestant, she's Pagan.) Like I said, not the norm.
I was in Starbucks, and noticed a good-looking guy reading, studying, and taking notes. Okay, points for being studious. Then I noticed one of the books on the table was a Study Bible. Points for personal devotion. And then the moment of sadness when I realized it's easy to find a guy sitting around reading a Christian Bible and having some personal study time. I don't think I've ever seen a guy sitting around reading the Hebrew Bible and doing a little Torah study in a Starbucks or an IHOP or in a bookstore or in a park under a tree. You can find Christians reading their bibles everywhere.
But when it comes to Jews, you really only find them studying Torah together in schools or synagogues. I'm unlikely to just accidentally meet a guy who enjoys Torah study, right?
Oh, and I read recently that "Yenta" in the age of Yiddish theater referried to a busybody or gossipmonger. So borrowing the phrase "Yenta the Matchmaker" to say that my friends would be part of a "Yenta Team" (intending to loosely translate this as "Matchmaking Team") isn't really a good borrowing. Some lyrics from the group "Blue Fringe" introduced me to the term "Shidduch" -- a system of matchmaking in which Jewish singles are introduced to one another in Orthodox Jewish communities for the purpose of marriage. The matchmaker is the Shadchan.
Now, I'm not part of the Orthodox community (nor do I seem to be headed there), and most of my friends are non-Jewish (especially when you start looking at the hundreds of friends I have in the SCA), so it's not like people would understand me if I were to start talking about needing a team of Shadchonim (the plural for matchmakers).
But a sinking feeling of frustration and dismay came over me as I left with my coffee.
* * * * *
Today's Blessing That I'm Thankful For: The good fortune to have as many loving friends and family as I have. Being single is easier because of all my loved ones.
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