"Yell at me." That's what Tim says when he does something he knows makes my job harder, or when he breaks a promise, as he did yesterday when he said he would have the time sheets to me before the end of the day. Something must have come up, because I didn't get the time sheets until early this morning, before I was even out of bed, meaning that I would spend most of today catching up with work I should have been able to do yesterday.

So he wants me to yell at him when he sends me the time sheets late. Because, of course, that's what he would do. That is the most likely explanation for the high turnover in his crew. I'm sure he yells at them, and I'm sure he thinks he's justified, and I doubt that he is, most of the time. That's also the basis for the adversarial relationship he has with the Boss, who is not only his boss as well as mine but also his father.

Do you think I yell at him? Ever? Well, you're probably wrong, because I have yelled at him when I've been totally at the end of whatever short rope I'm grasping at the time, but it takes a lot. It takes more than something I expect, like late time sheets and broken promises. He will have to settle for knowing that I'm disappointed in him, and if that's not enough, I still won't give him the satisfaction of yelling at him over it.

Really, though, shouldn't that be enough? For someone you work with, or someone in your family, or someone else you're close to? Shouldn't it be enough to make you do the right thing, knowing that if you don't they will be disappointed? (Not just disappointed in you, but disappointed in general. If they really matter to you, that should be enough.)

Anyway, that's how I operate. I'm not saying I always succeed. I'm sure I've disappointed just about anyone I've ever known, at some time or other. But I don't do it deliberately, and I don't try to make myself feel better by telling them to yell at me. It fits in with my vision of the world, you know. This planet we all share works best when we realize we're all in it together.
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Home in mid November.
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In case you've forgotten, here is what my house looks like. It hasn't changed much, but I have a new camera app on my iPhone and wanted to try it out. And now that I have a holster for the phone, and comfortable lightweight headphones that I like, I'm running out of excuses for not mowing the grass. Until it rains again, anyway.