TheByc'sBlog

TheByc'sBlog
My Many Hats

2009-04-18 9:42 PM
The Redneck BBQ

Previous Entry :: Next Entry

Mood:
Jovial

Read/Post Comments (3)

we left home around 9:00 this morning, with the idea of finding a roadside diner to have breakfast. Mike took an exit unfamiliar with us, and just drove on what we thought would be a parallel road for a while....yeah, it was nothing what we had in mind, and wasted a lot of time. I was ready to eat my own leg, and broke into my roadtrip bag, and found beef jerkey, and graham cracker bear snacks, and water bottles. He then found the most expensive diner in the world, with outhouses in the parking lot. omg, I thought I would just have nothing to drink, so I would not need to pee...thank God we have a law that states you must have inddor toilets to have indoor dining. At least I knew I was getting closer to my redneck family. I think they have friends who might be more content in the outhouse, or not thought anything of it, and just used it. (not me)

We also stopped at the Gerbing Heated Clothing Factory, to see all the fuss at their open house. It was loads of fun, and we learned a lot, but didn't buy a thing. I do know what size/style I do want, which is half the battle.

The cooking vessel was this: a homemade firepit, welded together and in great shape. It must weigh 400 pounds alone. It had a nice fire, with embers glowing hot, and ready to use. sitting above it, were two 4x4" square tubing, holding the cooking surface above the fire. The cooking surface, you may ask? It was a 45.5" saw from a real-honest-to-goodness saw mill down the road. It had teeth, and had been in working order one day. They had sand-blasted it at a brother-in-laws shop, and treated it with cooking oil. I thought we were in the backyard of a Benihana's chef. I wanted an amazing stir-fry at this point, but we were here, and I was going to see this giant hamburger clear through.

Aunt Merlina brought what she thought was a 23" bun, but when she had been told 23" bun, she thought that meant from one point, around the perimeter, to the same point. What was really meant, was from one point, straight across to the other side. Her bun just would not work with what had been ordered from the butcher. I said, perhaps a pizza dough would work,a nd it was settled, we ordered 2 plain crusts from a local shop, and we were off to pick stuff up.

Mike wanted a Coka-Cola to drink, so I told him I would return with one. I always forget that in the redneck town of Centrailia, they do not sell Coke. Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi...everywhere a Pepsi...

We stopped at the meat shack, and got beer (Coors Light, and Bush Beer...I told you: REDNECKS...we also got the TWELVE POUND HAMBUGER PATTY! It was seasoned, and flattened to a 1" thickness, and frozen. It was on a sheet of plywood that my family had provided. They sell Pepsi, so off to the next stop...the pizza dough. They wanted to know what we will be doing with two plain crusts, of the largest size they have. We took the owner out to the car, to see the huge patty. She was in awe. She sold Pepsi, no Coke.

We then were starting to get back near the house when she pulled into a store parking lot. The place looked as if it was boarded up, but low and behold, it was open for business. I have no idea what she bought, but there at least was a coke display cooler inside. Of course, it had fruity cokes, and diet cokes, and bargs rootbeer, and sprite, but you guessed it, NO COKE! I sent Mike a text telling him he may have to drink beer, which would NEVER happen, but it made me laugh. There was one more shop before the homefront, so we slid into it, and she said to go fast, like Superman in a phone booth, so off I go. Thanks God there was a Coke cooler right at the front door! YAY! IT had several sizes of coke, and I nearly froze up, not knowing which to buy. I decided on two 20 oz bottles, as they were on sale, 2 for $2.22...I told the guy it was the ONLY COKE IN TOWN, and he should be selling it for $5 each, or to the highest bidder. I knew my husband would sell his children, and his dog to have a Coke. He didn't believe me, but I swear it is true.

There must have been 30 people at times at this BBQ, birthday bash. I don't make it down there too often, so it was great to see them all. I was reminded of last summer, whe I had on two layers of moisture wicking brand new shirts, sitting around the same fire-pit. I was heating up an iron rod, bending it into my marshmellow cooker, when it touched my shirt...yeah, right where my titty sits, and melted the hel lout of the outside layer of nylon shirt. The black fabric diapeared, revealing the orange shirt beneath. I had a hole, about the size of an old fashioned silver dollar, just for my titty to stick through. Since I was in Redneck-land, I chose to just thank God that I didn't burn said titty, and proudly display that hole for the remainder of the night.

Back to my BBQ story today. Robbie and Mikey (not my Mike) were somewhat able to get that burger onto the makeshift grill, and it cooked for quite some time. Me, being 'in charge' of the cooking of a burger most days, told them to flip it ONLY ONCE. They let it go for a good long time, and I was really proud of them! I had brought a 12" pizza peel to use as a spatula, but it was about 24" too short across for this venture. Robbie used ti to loosen the burger all the way around, and they got it onto the board (with wax paper liner) and the flipped the board, burger and all back onto the grill. Sadly, it worked in theory only. They were forced to cut the burger into two pieces. the smaller piece then fell into another piece, so, we had three parts...

The damn thing cooked all the way through, and there were no red spots. It was probably too hot even, but I was okay with that, as I didn't want any nasty issues to deal with on the way home. It was placed onto one of the doughs, and the other on the top. It was a burger indeed, they had pulled it off! There was enough to share with everyone, with chips, beans, potato salad, and all the stuff that make BBQs so fabulous.

My neice (well I answer to aunt, and love her to pieces) opens her gifts, and we all sit and BS for quite some time.
Yeah, until we just had to go, so we could stop and shop. Seems I never get to shop with those folks there, right under their noses. We are always too busy with other things to spend anytime in their fair Coke-less City.

Mike and I bolted to the outlet mall. We both got new shoes at Nike, and new base-layer-keep us warm while camping/biking at Helly-Hansen. We stopped at Cabela's in Lacey, getting a few odds and ends. Space saving, quick drying bath towels, a small lantern, little Leatherman type tools, and a bag to fit on my BMW.

I took my book, The Warded Man with me, and read all the way home. I am glued to it. It is out of the rhelm of my former reading, but I find I am having to really work to set it aside. We were home before I knew it. The only adverse effects was the first belch I let out at some point. I thought Mike was going to barf, as it stunk the cabin up pretty badly...sorry honey...I learned to open the window for each subsequent belch, which were fast and furious. That burger was definatly better the first time I tasted it.

Sorry for the novel...but that was my day. I LOVE having SATURDAYS OFF!! I am too tired to go proof read this...deal with it!

Read/Post Comments (3)

Share on Facebook

Previous Entry :: Next Entry

Back to Top

:: JOURNAL HOME :: SUBSCRIBE TO THIS JOURNAL ::