I had originally planned to keep a running journal to myself about GWW, or maybe even regularly go off-site to keep my email cleared and update some journal drafts. But I need to completely forget about silly ideas like that: Once on site, I never left and I never wanted to leave. So, here's my recollection of the past week.

Wed Oct 5 - I came home from Tuesday's tasks not feeling well, and basically feeling too tired to do anything else, certainly no packing at all. So I spent Wednesday morning packing from about 5:30 until noon. Well, not entirely all packing, but getting up, showering, dressing, and enjoying breakfast around all my packing and preparations.

My mantra was "If it can't fit in six boxes, it can't go." This actually worked very well, since there are always a few things that spill over and take up whatever room is left after six boxes. I did manage to pack everything INSIDE my little car, but had no rear-view mirror and barely half my vision on the right. I think I might want to either eventually have a roof rack actually (professionally, permanently) installed on my Festiva or just make arrangements with friends who have extra room to take the bits that block my view so that I can drive safely. This event was only an hour's drive away from my apartment, so it was okay to drive that short of a distance with reduced visibility. But this would *never* do for driving to Arizona (past Phoenix) for the big event in February, if I were to plan to go to Estrella War.

But I did manage to leave close to noon-thirty/one-o'clock and got on site an hour later. I had no room for food or ice when I packed, so after I set up my campsite, I went five miles down the road and finished my shopping for the event. I'm pleased to say that my plan to buy block ice, cubed ice, AND dry ice was exactly the trick I needed to have both a "freezer" and a "refrigerator" version of my coolers for my food and drink. Combined with blue-ice-packs, I was able to keep *everything* cold from Wednesday until Monday, and was even able to put away dinner leftovers on Sunday night for some friends who were completely out of ice. But I'm jumping ahead in my narrative.

Getting on site on Wednesday this time was a first for me. I've never been to the event this early in the week, and it made all the difference in the world. I felt like I was already prepared to do anything, and could relax more than usual. I think I would like to do this more often.

Thu Oct 6 - The strangest thing about being here on Wednesday was that there were almost no other people around on Thursday morning. I had only one friend join me for Coffee Bar on Thursday morning, but best of all it was really a "practice run" for "Where do I want to put everything and how do I want to do my setup?" for the whole experience. I'd also forgotten my mosquito netting at home, but a close-friend who was camping next to me had to go back home early this morning for a job interview, just a few miles from my apartment. So she picked up my netting for me and brought it back to the site. The biggest problem with Coffee Bar today were the flies, so I'm very thankful to Momma Cat for bringing back my netting for me.

It was extremely hot and sunny today, and only about half the merchants are set up already. But I did browse the whole of merchants to get a sense of who's here and what I might want to buy. I found the "Medieval Tailor's Assistant" in one shop and plan to come back later to buy it for certain. It's a $40 book, so it's probably almost the only thing I plan to get at this event.

Diego and Raphael arrived in the afternoon, and I took some wonderful photos of them setting up the Inn of the Crimson Spade for the first time. Lots of friends from the White Star pitched in and by the end it was really beautiful to see the huge pavilion they built, all standing and beautiful and ready for furniture and decorations.

The three of us went over to merchants for a quick bite to eat since Elisheva and her father were still on their way to the site, with the rest of the furniture, the food, the kitchen, etc. I'd completely forgotten to actually eat lunch, in all the oppressive heat of the day, and had only had a flavored shaved ice in the afternoon. So I had a wonderful bratwurst with sauerkraut, a cold soda, and bought each of the boys a hotdog and a soda to tide them over until Eli arrived and could cook dinner.

I spent part of today trying to hem my blue dress (finally!) so that all the clothing that Morgana and I made two years ago would finally be done. I had managed to taper the sleeves on the white underdresses before I left, and attached the sleeves on the green dress, but I packed needle and thread to hem all three overdresses at the event.

After dinner, Diego hosted the bar for a small group of us at the Inn, making it the "secret back-stage pass premier opening" of the Inn, unlike the Grand Opening which will be on Saturday night. I had a several coffee-liqueur type drinks, and was sort of a "sad drunk" but a dear friend allowed me to cry and babble and put me to bed safely. I don't hardly drink ever, and will take careful measures to not drink anything at all on evenings when I'm feeling that melancholy ever again.

Then again, part of it is really just me learning to live for the Here And Now and not stress out about the future. When I remember how to do that, there aren't any melancholy sad nights, because I have such wonderful friends that there's nothing but awe-inspiring joy when I'm taking in their company. My friends rock.

Fri Oct 7 - More and more people are here today, and so Coffee Bar has started to actually have a steady stream of customers.

The main volunteer thing I took on for this event was coordinating and organizing who would be cleaning the shower truck from our Shire. You see, sometimes households or geographic branches take on some of the "onerous duties" of running an event this size. In exchange they get prime land selections and double the raffle tickets for the volunteer raffles. Our shire has been cleaning the Shower Truck for several years, and this year I volunteered to make certain all the shifts were covered.

So my days are filled with a schedule something like this: "Wake up before the sun. Clean up around my camp, and open up Coffee Bar. Serve Coffee Bar for about two hours or so, clean up, straighten up. Spend the morning and afternoon alternating between personal fun and the shower truck. Make sure there's a morning cleaning/sweeping, take my own shower sometime and get to finally put on clean garb for the day, make sure there's a late afternoon cleaning, make sure there's a shift to do a major cleaning after the Trash Crew gets to have the shower truck to themselves from 5-6."

Part of all this involved that I also had to trek out to Headquarters minimum once a day to get the keys to the shower truck so we could empty the trash and restock the paper towels. For the whole weekend, I think I did a shower truck shift of my own every day, and only did 2 shifts in one day once. But fortunately we didn't have to worry about the truck on Wednesday, just Thu-Mon. I have to thank everyone in my shire for all their hard work, it made my coordinating job that much easier.

The Crimson Spade and I went shopping for most of the morning until the heat became almost unbearable. The shop where I found my book had bought the last three copies from a distributor (you'll remember that Amazon.com cancelled my order weeks ago because they no longer had it in stock). And when I came back today, one copy was already gone. I bought the 2nd copy, then I ran into Kelly & Richard a few minutes later. I think she ran off to buy the 3rd copy.

We also browsed a shop that had medieval games and I really really want to be able to buy some of these for the Inn someday. I picked up their business card for later.

I also found a shop that was selling some amazing artisan hats from a craftswoman in another kingdom, and I just fell in love with her work. I don't have $130 for one of the stunning pieces I loved, nor do I have a Mongolian costuming persona to wear it with, but they were such gorgeous pieces I couldn't help falling in love with the beauty of her handiwork.

After shopping we relaxed a lot, although I was also running around a little, coordinating the Shower Truck for the afternoon. When I was relaxing in camp with the shire, I also hadn't finished hemming the blue dress yesterday. So after my late afternoon shower, I sat around finishing the blue hem and getting out the red dress (the Crimson dress for the Crimson Spade opening) and trying to get that hem finished in time to wear that dress on Saturday. And then finally in the late afternoon, the boys and I went around putting up signs for the Grand Opening on Saturday, all around the site.

Friday night I also committed to taking Coffee Bar to the Vigil for Bridget. She is being awarded the highest award (equivalent to becoming a Knight for Sword-Fighting) for Service tomorrow (something called being made a Pelican), and she's holding a Vigil the night before. Her vigil, or "Bridgil" as it was jokingly named, is a little more unique than others. Because a majority of her service over the years including working with children, she opened her vigil at 4 pm for the kids so they could be there too. So, many of her friends hosted a full banquet/buffet of dinner foods to keep everyone fed and happy into the wee hours as they waited in long lines or long reception areas until they could spend 5-15 minutes with her.

I showed up for the vigil with coffee bar probably around 8 pm or so. I wanted to be there as early as 7, but Marcos was having a special ceremony with the White Star at the 3DC encampment, and I couldn't possibly miss that. After his ceremony (during which Captain Lot "awarded him his freedom"), I packed up coffee bar and trekked across the site to set up for the vigil. Huge thank you's to Aran for loaning me his sturdy flat-bed wagon to cart everything across the site—I'm now very interested in owning one of these someday. They are invaluable for hauling equipment!

I stayed probably about two hours or more at the vigil, serving coffee, tea, and hot chocolate. I left the spiced cider at my campsite because I just didn't have enough hands to do it on top of everything else. I did learn that I like an open pot for heating water in low light because you can see how far along the boil is going better than a tea kettle.

After "last call" I used the last of the hot water to brew one last pot of coffee, just in case we wanted coffee drinks back at the Inn. It turned out that we didn't really want hot drinks, so I had completely forgotten about the sealed, full thermos until morning. This figures strongly into my stories about Saturday....

Back at the Inn, everyone saved me some dinner since it also wasn't finished before going to the vigil. We had grilled chicken and corn on the cob, and so we were at the mercy of the charcoals being heated in time. I also started taking the role of fire-starter at camp, and made plans to start tomorrow's fire much much earlier in the afternoon so that dinner would be ready earlier, ideally in the daylight hours.

I also avoided drinking anything tonight, and since yesterday have come to grips with most of the things that were making me sad. It all centers around being single, and enjoying it instead of wallowing in regrets, and I'm very happy to say that I've found another new place of balance within me about being single. And I'm smiling genuinely again.

Sat Oct 8 - This was probably the biggest morning for Coffee Bar, and I almost couldn't keep up with the drinks. I like being able to stay ahead of everyone and have enough coffee already brewed so that no one ever has to wait for water to boil or coffee to drip/brew, but this was nearly impossible today.

But we had what we were jokingly calling "A Bonafide Miracle At Coffee Bar" this morning. This morning, Sabas and Elynor were the first friends who arrived, hoping for a cup of coffee. As Sabas was joking to Elynor that "you cannot rush a miracle" I was unpacking the last box from having gone to the vigil. And this was when I found/remembered the full thermos I brewed the night before. I turned around, declared "apparently you can rush a miracle" and opened the thermos to find that I had a steaming hot pot of coffee before coffee had even been brewed. "It's a Miracle!" we declared, and they had their first coffee while I finished setting up and starting the Saturday morning brews.

However, anyone who joked about my sainthood, I had to remind them that you cannot become a saint without being dead first. I'm not the slightest bit interested in sainthood OR being dead, so that's the end of that. *grin*

I also hadn't finished the red dress hem, so once again I was hemming my clean clothes after my shower and before I could get dressed. But I did finish it and then got out my green dress to try and finish it for Sunday.

Eli and I started the dinner fires in the mid/late afternoon, and so this evening's pot of chili was ready at a really reasonable and early hour. It was very *very* yummy, and we were all very glad to have gotten to eat earlier than the night before.

And I was really glad I had shopped so much on Thursday and Friday, because I was pretty much a home-body on Friday, staying in camp with the Shire, the Coffee Bar, the Shower Truck, my hemming, the White Star, or the Crimson Spade the entire day.

And for my Saturday evening, the big event was that I entered the White Star Bardic, and had a thoroughly wonderful time watching and listening to all the performances. I would have liked to have been able to go to both the House Sterling and W.Star bardic competitions, but they were scheduled for the same night, same times.

So the other major event for my afternoon was that I spent several hours composing two new (8-line) verses in my home shire song (from the Bard of Caid competition) that now celebrate both White Star and the Crimson Spade. And I've got ideas about adding verses for my first SCA Shire and my current Barony in the future, so it will be one of those anthems in my life that has taken on a life of its own and is growing.

And it scored well enough to numerically tie me for first place in the original composition category and take second place after they had to go through 5 outside judges for a tie-breaker. I couldn't be more proud of this 2nd place award, and especially since I just adored the hammer dulcimer artisan with whom I tied originally and to whom I took 2nd place to his 1st. That was an honorable 2nd place, and I will always treasure the experience. The contest also gave me some ideas about how to approach additional bardic competitions.

And I'm also pleased that after having talked Leonidas (Elisheva's father) into performing on his Oud (a middle-eastern guitar-like instrument) in the contest, that he took 3rd place in the original compositions category. Yes, the instrumentalists swept through the competitions—1st and 3rd in original compositions were instrumentalists, and 1st in the historical period piece were an instrumental group. Proving once again that you don't have to be just a singer to be a bard. *grin*

And then finally, it was the Grand Opening of the Crimson Spade tonight, so after the Bardic competition I was happy to retire at the Inn and enjoy the big celebration. The place was packed and we had hours and hours of fun, gaming, socializing, and singing all night long.

There were several friends who also hosted an evening Jewish service in honor of Rosh Hoshana, and I was humbled and honored to be there to celebrate along with them. We'd been celebrating Rosh Hoshana over Coffee Bar every morning at the event, by having apples dipped in honey together. Also, all the non-Jews learned how to say "Happy New Year" in Hebrew, and so it was a wonderful community bonding kind of experience. Of course, the way we learned to remember the phrase is a very silly filk of the "Sha-na-na" song, and it's absolutely hysterically funny.

Having seen myself be a "sad-drunk" (I use the word "drunk" loosely, since we're talking about only two drinks here) on Thursday night, I was much more careful Saturday night. I was also just in a better place, in my head, so I had a wonderful time. One close friend did manage to get "plastered" and so I spent some time making sure he was okay, and pouring him into bed when he was finally ready to go to sleep.

Afterwards, another dear friend came by to see him, and since he was passed out, she didn't get to talk to him. She was *also* having a rough night, for completely different reasons, so rather than allow her to wander off crying alone, she and I went walking and talking together for the next two hours. I've made a fast-friend, so quickly, and this promises to be a very valuable and wonderful friendship to come. I felt so lucky to be the one who had the right kind of loving kindness that she needed at that moment, and I'm always humbled when I'm used to bring joy to someone else in the world.

After our walk, we ended up back at the Inn around the fire for a while. Diego made us promise to let him witness some silliness we had cooked up together, and it warms my heart to have so many wonderful friends.

Sun Oct 9 - After some people had too much to drink last night, I went out of my way to take coffee to some folks directly, rather than wait for them to stumble out of bed. Most specifically, one close friend got a wake-up call at 7 am and coffee in bed at 8 am. And he wasn't the only one lagging this morning—no one showed up for Coffee Bar until nearly 8:30 today, and just yesterday I couldn't keep up with the people who were there at 7.

Breakfast at the Inn was French Toast this morning, and Diego got to witness the silliness that we two girls had promised the night before. I adore my friends!

A pack of us went out for a while to watch some of the fighting on the rapier field and then I spent part of my morning hanging out with my newest friend. She's in the same household (now defunct) as another friend of mine, so they've known each other for over eight years. Since he and I have known each other for over four months, and now she and I have known each other for two days, we spent a while hanging out all three of us, and having fun finding where our lives have intersected over the years without realizing it. This is one of the things that amazes me about what a small world we live in.

She had to go prepare lunch for her household, so the two of us went back to merchants with friends, and just enjoyed wandering around for the rest of the afternoon before retiring to our separate camp sites again. Last night in the Bardic competition I won a basket of goodies donated from different merchants, so since I had two gift certificates, I needed to go *back* to merchants to shop one last time. This time I got to wander with my roommate. We joke that we see each other more at events than at home, and it's really not that far from the truth. So it was lovely to wander together and spend time shopping together. I "bought" some dyestuffs with one certificate (indigo for blue and cochineal for purple) and a length of silk with another certificate.

Tonight's dinner was "Steak and Potatoes" night at the Inn, and I brought onions, mushrooms, zucchini, yellow squash, and Italian white squash to grill and add to the meal. Diego did a great job on the steaks, on the open fire grill, so much so that I had to steal a single bite even though beef disagrees with my stomach nowadays. It smelled so incredibly yummy, that "cow be damned!" I was going to taste it! *hee hee*

The veggies also turned out really well, and I was glad to also take a turn in the kitchen making food for everyone and have Eli sit and relax and enjoy her steak for a while. I hope that at future events where/when I might be camping with the Inn, that I can take more turns washing dishes, hauling water, disposing grey water, and cooking food for everyone. It was sometimes heart-breaking to split my attentions between the Inn and my home Shire and my Coffee Bar. It's weird to think that I may have "too many friends" and have to struggle to fit in all the time I want to spend with everyone. Now fortunately we were all camped next to or near each other. But I wonder about future events when I might be camping with the Inn and potentially not be near my Shire. It's weird to have split devotions.

But also, I was glad that I still had ice left in the last of my coolers, because we had so much steak left over that we stored it in ziploc bags on ice in my camp, to have leftovers on Monday during clean-up and break-down.

Sunday night around the campfires is always markedly different from any other night. Most of the people who attend the event pack up on Sunday because they go home for work in the morning on Monday. Those of us who stay are few, far between, and punch-silly tired. So the camp fires are unique on Sunday nights. This was no exception at the Inn, where some of the guys from the neighboring camps wandered over to enjoy the fire with us. They had me laughing so hard at one point that I fell out of my chair, literally, and collapsed gasping and wheezing and laughing on the ground. We're also so tired and sore and exhausted by Sunday night, that several of us just want to massage each others shoulders around the campfire. We stayed up way too late because we were too tired to remember to go to sleep, but it was a wonderful stunningly beautiful night with friends.

Mon Oct 10 - The winds came back, in major force, this morning. The Inn took a beating and fell down around 7 am. Poor Marcos came racing over from the Inn to see if I was alright, after the canvas came crashing down on him, and then he raced back to (a) take everyone's coffee orders and (b) go back to helping them pick up and recover from the wind collapse. And bless his heart, he delivered coffee to everyone for me, since I was heart-broken that I couldn't drop everything and help them clean up from the collapse, since there were still people coming to me for coffee and tea, since it was still really early in the morning.

After I cleaned up coffee bar and started packing my camp site, it finally got later and later and I realized I hadn't eaten anything. My suspicions were that no one else had eaten either, and I was right. So I went over to Crimson Spade and made them all take a break around 10 am to eat and drink finally. It was quite funny when I sent Marcos over, carrying all the leftover food I had on hand, and I turned around and realized I had left myself carrying over five gallons of drink. So I emptied one of my flip-top boxes, put 2 two-gallon water containers, 1 one-gallon water jug, 1 two-gallon apple cider, and all the sports bottles of water I could find into one box. I hoisted the box over head and carried it over on my head. Since the folks breaking down were four guys, I suddenly was struck with the funny parallel: For millenia women have been carrying water jugs on their heads to "feed and water the men folk" and here I was feeding and watering the men in camp. I laughed that I must have been finally fulfilling a genetic destiny, and enjoyed our food and water break more than usual.

After my camp was finally entirely packed up in my car, I did one last pass through the shower truck with 2 or 3 of my friends from the shire, and then returned all the equipment to Headquarters. I turned in all our volunteer hours, placed raffle tickets in for the last raffle, and headed back. By then the guys were all packed and we all headed off site for lunch together. There's something wonderful about that first eating-out after camping, and we thoroughly enjoyed lunch. But also, I was so sleep-deprived that it was nothing but non-stop giggling and laughing together, which was in its own way a fun kind of exhaustion. I can hardly describe how at home I feel in the Inn, and how thankful I am that I've become friends with them all.

My drive home was a little bit rough, where it was a struggle to stay awake for the last 20 minutes. But I got home safely, showered, and passed out for a 3-hour nap before unloading the car. Then I ran down the street to my favorite healthy-grocery-store, picked up some sorbet for each my roomie and myself, some dinner from their deli, and collapse after eating. I probably had ten hours sleep, on top of the three hour nap earlier in the afternoon.

Tue Oct 11 - Today. Whew. I'm exhausted, but well-scrubbed and happy. My lips are almost healed after all the lip balm, and my sunburn on my face is only just now starting to crack and peel a tiny bit. I will have to remember to put my sunscreen next to my deoderant so I remember to use it first thing in the morning every day at events like this. So many things about events are just habits, and I *have* to build sunscreen into a habit.

I still have band tonight (groan) but apparently they booked a live show for December, which means our rehearsals are a little more exciting again.

And my head is filled with all those crazy ideas and plans that happen after a major SCA event: All the garb I want to sew, the camping equipment I want to improve or build or buy, and now the workouts in the gym that I want to commit to again to continue getting in better shape all the time. I hate being this tired and sore after a week of just *walking* so much, and so I have a re-doubled love for getting back into the gym. And then of course, I have a ton of laundry to do and things to put away in my house, so the work is never finished.

But it all makes me happy. So there's something to be said for that.

* * * * *
Recently Listening to: Six days of amazing singers and instrumentalists, drinking songs, songs of devotion, epic stories, bawdy tales, drunken tales and jokes, and the laughter of my most treasured friends
Now Playing: a mix CD of "chick singers" such as: Melissa Etheridge, Meredith Brooks, Alanis Morisette, Shawn Colvin, Natalie Mercant, Over the Rhine, Tracy Chapman, Joan Baez, Nanci Griffith, Tori Amos, Mary-Chapin Carpenter, and Janis Ian