Pages Written... -4
Listening to... Evanescence
Exercise Done... lots of coughing

I am stopping myself from being a steady writer. I don't know why. I'm sure there are a myriad of reasons...fears I put in front of myself, blow up out of proportion, whatever.

The truth is, I'm stopping *myself*. It's not writer's block. It's pure fear. Laziness, maybe. Not wanting to take the next step in evolving as a person, a writer, a woman. Who knows?

Whatever, I have tossed two online games that I had purchased and that lately have been taking up my writing time. (Just a friendly note of warning: If a game is called Addiction, it's probably best to stay away from it.) I don't want my kids to think of me wasting my time playing when I could have been writing, or exercising, or cleaning the house ("yeah, mom, she wasn't big on housecleaning. Played a mean game of tetris, though.")...you know what I mean? So those games are history.

I've also pulled four pages and put them into a deleted scenes file, because there was some good stuff there (internal stuff, even) that I can use elsewhere if I remember that I wrote it. We'll see.

Lots to do. Hard to do when it feels like an elephant is sitting on my chest. I didn't go to San Diego, and not seeing the parents hurts somehow more than it should this time around - but I didn't stay in bed either, and I should have. Real life comes swooshing back tomorrow, with errands and dental appts and what not to worry about.

And early Saturday morning, I head off to Seattle to work a music convention. It should be fun, I mean - SEATTLE! WOO! - but I'll be alone, and the fun ebbs.

Ah, don't mind me. I'm sick, moody, and feeling sorry for myself. Better tomorrow.