I never thought I'd buy three tubes of waterproof mascara within two days of each other, and not be able to find a single tube.

I never thought I'd "audition" long-lasting lipstick because I'd be standing in front of a ton of people who haven't seen me in twenty or more years and I'd like to look like I have lips while I deliver my mother's eulogy.

I never realized how comforting sympathy cards are - and I now regret not sending them when I could have. But some things need to be experienced before they become second nature.

I never thought I'd wail and sob in a parking lot in hollywood because I forgot to bring my homework for a writing class I'm in.

I never thought I'd need sleeping pills.

I never thought I'd age a decade in just a week.