I have always loved Apple products, ever since I used to use (behind locked doors) two Lisa computers and a Mac, back in 1987-88? At any rate, it's taken me long enough, but I'm a full-blown fan now.

I can't get enough of my laptop - I can plug my camera memory straight into the laptop!!! OMG!!! No more agonies of where is the memory reader. Life is SWEET.

Plus, my new iPod Touch is fanTABulous. An iPhone without the phone and the hefty monthly price that goes with it. I am so in love, I can't even explain it.

I thought my life full and complete with these two objects, but then yesterday, the Kindle hubby bought way before we went on vacation finally came. He's already a convert to eBooks. I'm almost there, though I will ALWAYS love the feel of a paperback in my hand.

So much goodness, and at such a good time. It helps to take my mind off stuff, and hubby's, too. Which is all good.

Now for the good food, good friends part...last night, two dear friends came over for dinner. We drank champagne, ate pan-seared scallops (they were so big, I only had two per plate), and finished off with excellent truffles. We exchanged belated birthday and Christmas presents (it had been FAR too long since we'd seen each other), the boys shot a quick video, and all in all it was a great evening.

My girlfriend reminded me last night that this journey I'm on is mine, not my family's. That I am captain of this particularly rocky ship and I decide, with the help of my doctor, how this squatter in my head will be taken care of. She's not the first to say this to me, but it is helpful to hear, nevertheless.

Only today and Monday to get through before I can talk to the doctor.

Yesterday was not a good day. I spent a lot of it off-balance, which was irritating. I'd had almost three good days in a row; I guess a part of me thought, hey. Maybe the tumor disappeared and I'm fine. Then, while waiting for hubby as he shopped at Guitar Center, I wandered around BevMo too long and got scared that I'd stumble into a display of glassware. By the time Hubby found my, I was really shaken and had a meltdown in the car. I was so disappointed in my weakness.

Hubby gave me an amazing compliment in the car on the way home yesterday ..he said that one of the things he loved about me from the beginning was, that when everything was going well in our lives I could be a bit of a fuck; but when things fall apart, I am rock solid and unflappable. He thinks I'm handling this amazingly well, and gave me an A+, for what that's worth.

It makes me smile to remember. That alone, ladies and gentlemen, is worth the 30 years of marriage.