Yesterday my manager and I had a meeting. This was to review my detail and my leave usage. At least that is what I thought it was about. Then when he sent me the automated apointment email we use, he added a note about work assignments past and future. Ok, a little different. I knew that I had to change some of my attitude and work a little different this comming year-some bad attitude had krept in from a new office mate who is not part of my immediate work group.

Well, apparently, things were worse than I thought. My 'street cred' at work is not good shall we say. According to him, he wanted to wait until after the holidays to have this discussion. Also, the reason for the detail to the other job was to try to give me a 'fresh start" huh- and then the manager there didn't like that I questioned something about his managerial style to the employees. Wait a minute, that is what all employees do-and I was questioning his changing his mind on what I was to do day by day.

-didn't think of this during the meeting but - Whoa, wait a minute, why didn't anyone say anything when they noticed a change in my behavior way back? We had had a 'where do you want to go' type meeting, but my follow-up meetings with him kept getting put off-and I guess I wasn't proactive enough to fight for them. I enjoy working for my manager, and the managers under him, but I don't enjoy having a bad rep. I have never been known as a 'slacker' before and this is bothering me. (I know that I had been slacking a bit--but that is for me to deal with-I didn't realize that it was obvious.)

My question is, how do I reverse this. I have some basic ideas-nose to the grindstone type. But I am embarrassed to face some of the people I had no trouble facing before. How does one work through this, or is it worthless? Any ideas folks? I screwed up, I know it, how do I correct it? Do I verbally address it to people or just do work and let my actions show my intentions? I think that it was only the last 6 months or so that were bad, before that all was ok.

My manager did say that I have spots of brilliance then I flame out. I did point out to him, that before this position, every job I held was task orientated- I was given very specific type jobs to do and did them well, improved my abilities on them etc. This is the first time that I have minimum specific tasks, then have to develop my own. I compared it to the first time a child is given a book report to write and is told to pick their own book to do it on. They usually pick easy type books until they learn to enjoy the process-I am still learning.

Any guidance from those of you who are managers or former manager or who have been in this position (if that is possible) will be greatly appreciated.