I guess what bothers me most about all of this, is he sees the money issue as it being all about me wanting privacy, or me being selfish; or it being "ALL ABOUT YOU". And it really isn't. Its about having funds in my wallet so that I know what I can spend without having to 'clear it' with him. Its knowing that I can buy a gift for a friend without feeling like I have to tell him who/what/why. Or I can save for surprises/vacations or just because with out a problem. so maybe I will go back to the $70/week or $140/pay period. Just for me. That savings account will grow fast. It isn't as if he has been stingy-if I need money I ask for it-and he gives it or tells me go to the ATM or he gets it; it is the act of having to ask. If I haven't asked within a certain period of time - he will ask me if I need money. But I am not comfortable that way. We are having trouble with this change in our relationship. I guess this is the real issue. I am wanting to change the contract of how this part of our budget is handled. And he doesn't like it.

Hmmm-Just had an idea. He has spreadsheets set up so that we can see how much is left over after we pay all bills-we can calculate how much is needed for groceries/scripts/ordering out/lunches/savings,and leaving some in the kitty for emergencies-split the remainder. Then we are both even keel. That would work. And if we bring lunches like we need to-it will work even better. Then we can work it like we need to. If we know we are going to walmart-wait until after that shopping trip to split. I know it means that it won't be a set amount every pay period, but over time it will even out. We don't go to walmart all that often.

See that what this journal is for-for me to get my ideas out of my head and into black and white for me to see. I like this idea. I can open an account once I have set aside dollars for my nails etc. And get a card from that bank for my own use, keeping it a separate account. I use to be able to save on my own with no problem. In fact, I use to handle the budget better than dh-until he went to college and got degree in accounting. But my style is different than his. Mine is all monthly bills paid, then fun-and don't expect me to know in my head at every minute what we can spend without checking the bankbook or written document. (he would ask me when we would be driving around and get mad when I didn't know off the top of my head) He now has to check the computer.