I talked to friend at church very briefly last night. She has been divorced twice-both times married church members.
I asked her if she found the following true: Women needed time away from their husbands-alone or with other women, and men didn't seem to need that as much. She's older than I am. She has seen this in most relationships.

She answered-Yes. She clarified that not all women, not all men. But the MAJORITY of women needed some time apart-whereas it appeared that the MINORITY of men needed some time apart. Women need to mingle with women-to cry and laugh with them, to socialize and solve the worlds ills, and help each other. When we didn't, we became unhealthy to ourselves and to our families. Men didn't seem to need that outlet as much; as long as their wives were there to cushion them. And this got me to thinking-very deeply.

Bible quotes, Eve was created because God saw that Man was alone, and that was not a good thing. Adam needed a "Helpmeet, a Companion to be with him. Not the other way aroung.

Early pioneer women had a problem with the aloneness-no other women to talk to. The men didn't worry about it. The could go off and be alone to hunt etc, come back occaisionally to sell the furs, and if they kept a squaw they were happy. They didn't need the company of other men as much. Women needed company of other women to keep them sane. Native American women gathered to work together, Pioneer women canned foods together, held quilting bees, and the barn raising was always a good reason to get everyone together.

I remember my mother laying on the bed after supper and reading her magazines. I use to think that she was being 'OFF'. Now I wonder if she was just using that time to regroup-she was working every day, around people and noise all the time. She didn't have a radio on, and lots of times she would doze off. It was her quiet time. Her 'alone' time. Her recharge time. If dad was not working, she would normally be watching tv with him. Much like what my DH likes me to do. Hmmmm-generational thing on top of genetics/female/male need?

In modern society, it is hard to be truly alone. If a spouse doesn't want you to be alone, it is even harder. Electronics keeps everyone connected. Boundaries must be maintained. Before they can be maintained-they must be established.

Who teaches our youngsters the proper boundary? When do you start this instruction? I never was taught. I learned it fully this year. Though looking back, I practiced Low Contact with my parents from the time I joined the Army on.

Just wondering thoughts that hit me today.

Have a great weekend folks!!