Cussedness

Mama = grandmother
Mammie = Great Grandmother
Mickey = Mother

It seems that I have a great capactity to embarass myself and often go through a period of embarrassment and insecurity when (which of course is where I'm at at the moment, or I would not be saying ) it, I open up about different issues/anecdotes that are particularly dear. What I realize is that I think I must have always lived sidewise from the rest of the world, probably because of frequent periods of isolation all my life.

I identified with Mama and her generation more than with any other, which put me smack in the mentality of the late 1920s feminists. The two biggest influence was Mama born in 1905 and had two or three years of having my great grand mother in the house (she lived to be in her 90s and was completely coherent and very strange at times) Mammie married at fourteen and already had four kids before Mama came along. She was born around 1880. Mickey was in and out of my life and mostly rejected by me, since she felt like an unwanted older sibling rather than a parent.

I realized today just how outdated my ideas are in some ways and why I embarrass myself when I bring various issues up. Or respond to them. Especially feminist and racial issues. I had been thinking for awhile that maybe it was just that I had been out of the loop for so long. But then I started thinking about how big an influence both of them had been on me in key childhood years. Even though I'm 49 now (as of last month), the influence and indoctrination and obsessions that grew from listening to them still run around in my brain and emotions, and psyche as opperant. Mostly I think because I believe they were right about most things. So People get outraged by me and etc. Both of them were their era's version of flaming liberals. Mama more than Mammie. (Yes, Mammie insisted upon being called Mammie).

Mammie married a card carrying socialist and they moved to Texas. At this point, I no longer remember where they were moving from or where her husband, John Henry, was born, but I do know that Mammie was born in Virginia.

And I'm going to stop here. My writing will always be influenced by these two women.

Cussedness Godwar Central Station LEVEL 20 ARCH-CURMUDGEON ALL HATE MAIL WILL BE POSTED I am an out of the closet, bi-sexual gender queer and have long believed that the personal is political. Perhaps that is simply a bit of 1960s idealism that most people have outgrown; but it remains near and dear to me. I am the best-selling dark fantasy ebook author of the Dark Brothers of the Light series. I made my first short story sale at 23. it appeared in Amazons! which took the World Fantasy Award for best anthology in 1980 February 2004: In The Darkness Hunting: Tales of Chimquar the Lionhawk (wildside press) Dark Brothers of the Light Series. Renaissance Ebooks.
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Previous Entry :: Next Entry Mood: Contemplative Read/Post Comments (0) Share on Facebook		2003-11-24 6:46 PM Out of left field Mama = grandmother Mammie = Great Grandmother Mickey = Mother It seems that I have a great capactity to embarass myself and often go through a period of embarrassment and insecurity when (which of course is where I'm at at the moment, or I would not be saying ) it, I open up about different issues/anecdotes that are particularly dear. What I realize is that I think I must have always lived sidewise from the rest of the world, probably because of frequent periods of isolation all my life. I identified with Mama and her generation more than with any other, which put me smack in the mentality of the late 1920s feminists. The two biggest influence was Mama born in 1905 and had two or three years of having my great grand mother in the house (she lived to be in her 90s and was completely coherent and very strange at times) Mammie married at fourteen and already had four kids before Mama came along. She was born around 1880. Mickey was in and out of my life and mostly rejected by me, since she felt like an unwanted older sibling rather than a parent. I realized today just how outdated my ideas are in some ways and why I embarrass myself when I bring various issues up. Or respond to them. Especially feminist and racial issues. I had been thinking for awhile that maybe it was just that I had been out of the loop for so long. But then I started thinking about how big an influence both of them had been on me in key childhood years. Even though I'm 49 now (as of last month), the influence and indoctrination and obsessions that grew from listening to them still run around in my brain and emotions, and psyche as opperant. Mostly I think because I believe they were right about most things. So People get outraged by me and etc. Both of them were their era's version of flaming liberals. Mama more than Mammie. (Yes, Mammie insisted upon being called Mammie). Mammie married a card carrying socialist and they moved to Texas. At this point, I no longer remember where they were moving from or where her husband, John Henry, was born, but I do know that Mammie was born in Virginia. And I'm going to stop here. My writing will always be influenced by these two women. Read/Post Comments (0) Previous Entry :: Next Entry Back to Top