Bicycle riding back from a fitness class, I stopped in at my bank to buy some quarters. A young bank employee was at the head of the line to greet and make conversation with the customers and he asked me if I was doing anything special for Valentine's Day, on which, of course, this essay's events took place. Mondays are good for this retiree with two band practices, and indeed the evening band's director had asked on the 7th if the Red Day was going to impact attendance.

I'm pretty certain the bank guy, being young, was new or something close in a precarious time with this economy, and I reflected on how insecure I have felt in many work situations over the years as I answered with a shrug and a mostly edge-free, "Nothing special." Meant to be neutral but, let's face it, the basic instinct is also, "Let's hurry this awkward moment along." Some cynicism by the greater public always has been present but in the pre-countercultural era maybe more of them believed in the "comb your hair, smile and stand up straight" ethos of relations with said public.

"Yeah, same here, maybe a movie and McDonald's," he sighed. But I told him about the bands, he asked about my instrument(s) and said he'd always wanted to take up something, then trailing off about, well, what one gets from taking this up. Just then a teller came open, but I would maybe have said things start to unfold, rather like a conversation.

Again, being put in a situation such as, "For your task, go chat!" can invoke the awkward and thick social haze. My custodial career had dealings with students and teachers. But it was after I got into management the hardest times were dealing with substitutes, with a certain often larcenous character during the 80's who I'd wager was a special education type "cut loose" by the era's political belief it was relieving the tax burden haunting me to this day, and workers when it came time for seasonal cleanup groups.

The last decade of my career involved a location in which I was a one man department. There was a core of wonderful people I got to know and some occasional judgmental nonsense that made nowhere near the impact it did during my stressful 1990's. And it was a good situation for the years leading up to the big decision.

I accidentally wrote "decision" as "situation" in my initial draft. Okay....