Mr. Slow Technology II here. I can't even wrangle a cliche here: would have been Slow II Technology. And that sounds like the stage name of an "artist" whose name is attached to that yammering, often slopping out of a car with a spoiler, accompanied by bass booming yet shallow.

In the mid 80's I finally had the phone company install a modular phone connection and I was into the answering machine age. It was not quite as long a wait when I enjoyed the practice of varying the greeting, and settled on history and/or birthdays for that day.

For a long time my almanac source was a local paper, and for the final few years of my subscription it was why I endured the open minded brilliance in the former Green Sheet of Bruce and Debbie. Quack, sneer.

Now from the 'pooter here there is the New York Times' "On This Day". And, in another great swing from childhood's bad habits I can look up days ahead of time.

The other day the anniversary was "Casey At The Bat" and my entreaty was "There will be no joy in Phoneville . . ."

Supplicants, arise, we have to move. Those who have fainted----yeah, as if you haven't put up with me lo these many years.

So what have we for June 5? Among the notables are the birthday of one Kenny Gorelick and the initial diagnosis in 1981 of what turned out to be the first documented cases of AIDS. Yick on both counts.

The one I used for today is scarcely better, the historic (as opposed to apocryphal?) birthday of John Maynard Keynes. It seems that name has long been invoked here and there; hey, Debby and Bruce, I said keep quiet! I could have used that of William Boyd, beloved titular star of "Hopalong Cassidy".

Well, I will stick to my figurative guns and thank you all for partaking in today's tea party.

What ? ? ?