The Stories
"The Calorie Man" - by Paolo Bacigalupi (novelet) 32 pages
"Helen Remembers the Stork Club" - by Esther M. Friesner (short story) 18 pages
"Foreclosure" - by Joe Haldeman (short story) 13 pages
"Spells for Halloween - an Acrostic" - by Dale Bailey (short story) 4 pages
"Help Wonted" - by Matthew Hughes (novelet) 33 pages
"Ode to Multiple Universes" - by Terry Pratchett (poem) 1 page
"Billy and the Ants" - by Terry Bisson (short story) 5 pages
"The Gunner's Mate" - by Gene Wolfe (short story) 14 pages
"Fallen Idols" - by Jay Lawrence (short story) 4 pages
"Silv'ry Moon" - by Steven Utley (short story) 14 pages
"Echo" - by Elizabeth Hand (short story) 9 pages
"Boatman's Holiday" - by Jeffrey Ford (short story) 15 pages
"Two Hearts" - by Peter S. Beagle (novelet) 37 pages

This is the annual double issue of Fantasy & Science Fiction, and it's chock full of goodness. There's some great fantasy interwoven with some leading edge science fiction in here, with most of the stories having at least some hook that grabbed me and wouldn't let go. Even the weaker stories are well worth the time taken to read them, and there's enough variety in here for everyone. And it's even got a poem from Terry Pratchett! Good stuff.

"The Calorie Man" by Paolo Bacigalupi
It's sometime in the near future, and agriculture is strictly divided into SoyPRO and HiGro, two genetically modified forms of nutrients that are grown all over the country. In fact, natural food is illegal. All things in life are categorized into calories and how many joules of energy they produce. Everything is spring-loaded, from the boats that navigate the Mississippi river to the guns wielded by the IP (Intellectual Property) soldiers that enforce these restrictions. In this world is a man named Lalji, an Indian immigrant who remembers what it was like when food was grown. He's tasked with going up the river to find a "generipper", or a man who has managed to perfect some naturally grown food. His memories haunting him, he takes the job not just for the money, but for the guilt that's been eating him up ever since he left India. It's a dangerous trip, that could end his life, but he feels it's worth it. Bacigalupi illustrates the world vividly, making it all seem possible (some would say we're already on the way), and his characters are top-notch. He switches back and forth between Lalji's memories and the job at hand, giving the reader a clear indication of why he is ultimately doing this. The world and how it works are clearly described and the finale is tense, ending with a mixed sense of tragedy and uplift, and the emotional journey of this man, like the journey up the river, holds the reader entranced. A great way to start off the issue.

"Helen Remembers the Stork Club" by Esther M. Friesner
Whatever happened to Helen of Troy? Being half-god, she's still alive and living in New York, though age has affected the looks a bit. Old and wrinkled, but still spry and hearty, she's living a rather depressing life in New York, a refugee of high society in the middle of the 20th century, now she's just going through the motions. She has to buy companionship, gets treated horribly at Saks Fifth Avenue (though she retaliates in a way we all would love to be able to do in a wonderfully caustic scene), and is lost in her memories. Until one of her paid companions takes too much advantage of her, and she gets to resort to her magic of old to get revenge. While this story still has its humorous moments (the aforementioned Saks scene in particular), it's much more poignant than the other stories of hers I've read. There's a lot of depth about the treatment of the aged in our materialistic society. The story is mostly an internal monologue on Helen's part (though told in third person present tense) where Helen describes her life and getting ready for a night on the town with her latest companion. The prose is wonderful, Helen's cynicism coming off the page beautifully, and the final fate of her companion fits perfectly into the mold of the story, one that's quite horrific to the mindset of this character. Another excellent story, and I'd say one of the best I've read from Friesner.

"Foreclosure" by Joe Haldeman
A real estate agent in 1967 is in for a weird day. A strange, balding man comes into her office and says that his race is foreclosing on the Earth. They arranged a lot of environmental changes in preparation for the property they had bought, but humanity had developed and taken it over. He's giving notice that the human race has until 2017 to get everybody off the Earth or they will be exterminated. She enlists a science fiction author to try to figure out the weird three-dimensional moving pictures that he man has given her, but she ends up getting marginalized in the news report about her. But come 2017, she may just have the last laugh. This was a cute story, kind of fluffy and meaningless (though there is probably an environmental message in there), but it was fun. The science of how the aliens come and go is unexplained, but that's not a problem. The ending twist is kind of neat too. Ultimately, it's a short story that doesn't take too much time and is enjoyable while you're reading it. Not Haldeman's best by any stretch of the imagination, but you won't regret reading it.

"Spells for Halloween - an Acrostic" by Dale Bailey
A series of vignettes, using the letters of Halloween, this is an enjoyable piece. Each letter's vignette is interesting, especially one of the "L's", which stands for Lilith and tells who she is. I don't think Lilith is commonly known (I certainly didn't until she showed up in a Sandman comic) as the first wife of Adam, so this one grabbed my attention even more than the rest. These were originally serialized in a North Carolina newspaper, and the editors thought it should have a wider audience. I can't say I disagree. I especially would like to here more about Abaddon, the land of the dead, and the Antarctic expedition that supposedly found a staircase leading downward, chopped into the ice and smelling of brimstone. That could be a story in itself.

"Help Wonted" - by Matthew Hughes
Guth Bandar is an explorer of "The Commons," the vast domain of the collective human consciousness. Unfortunately, it's very easy for even the most experienced explorer to get trapped in a world not of his devising, and Guth is an expert at getting into sticky situations. In this case, he has entered the Commons through dreaming, an unusual way to do it (usually, it's done by singing a specific set of notes), and he is drawn to an opening that shouldn't be there. After entering it, he discovers that his theories of the Commons being sentient are actually true (despite what the Institute says), and it has plans for him. He's trapped in the body of a mute slave, and he must avoid being absorbed into the setting, losing his consciousness forever, until he figures out what the Commons wants with him. Hughes always has a way with characterization, and while Bandar is not my favourite character of his, I always enjoy reading about him. Hughes has such a "formal informal" way of writing (the prose itself sounds formal, but the concepts are not) that it always flows effortlessly. In fact, the formality of the language mixed up with insane situations Bandar finds himself in are one of the joys of these stories. This is another well-written piece by Hughes.

"Ode to Multiple Universes" - by Terry Pratchett
It's a poem by Terry Pratchett. It's humorous, it's short. It has Pratchett's characteristic wit. Not much else to say, but it is worth reading!

"Billy and the Ants" - by Terry Bisson
This is a parable about a boy named Billy and his obsession with killing ants. As the day goes on and he kills more ants, the ants keep getting bigger. You would think the sequence would be obvious to the character, but this sort of thing never is in a parable. Finally, the inevitable happens, though Bisson gives it a rather wicked twist at the end. This is a very short story, but Bisson captures a lot in such a small space. The complete obliviousness of Billy's mother, Billy's obsession, and his quick thinking as he has to come up with new and different ways to kill the ants as they get bigger. A very enjoyable story.

"The Gunner's Mate" - by Gene Wolfe
Muriel is an attorney in New York, but when she vacations on a very secluded Caribbean island (it only has a hotel on it), she starts to feel at home. Most other people get creepy feelings, but Muriel gets good ones; so good, in fact, that she begs the hotel manager for a job, wanting only room and board (he wouldn't even have to pay her) in order to stay. But one of Henry Morgan's old pirates may be causing those feelings. I have to admit that I don't often "get" Gene Wolfe. I liked the The Knight but I can't say I understood it, and I couldn't get into The Wizard (though I will try again one day). This one was kind of the same way. It's beautifully written, and the characters are evocative, but it just didn't grab me that much as I didn't seem to get what Wolfe was saying.

"Fallen Idols" - by Jay Lawrence
Sometimes, all you need for a plot description is the first line: "Zeus showed up one night at the sex addiction meeting in the basement of Christ Lutheran Church." After years and years of putting up with Zeus' infidelities, Hera has finally left him for good. This is the story of Zeus' first (and only) appearance in the sex addiction group. Sadly, despite everything he says in the meeting, he's never going to change. This was a funny little story, the idea of Zeus finally coming to terms with all of those mortals he's impregnated and what that must have done to Hera, the narrator trying to relate some aspects of Zeus' problem to his own former life with his ex. The twist is obvious in retrospect, but not exactly predictable, and I liked Lawrence's little touches. How the narrator all of a sudden notices the therapist's breasts rise and fall, reminding the reader that, yes, we are in a sex addiction meeting. It's not worth more space than it's given, but it's perfect for the size it is.

"Silv'ry Moon" - by Steven Utley
This is another of Utley's "Silurian era" stories, where time travel to the era has been perfected and it is studied by scientists of the current time. In this story, Dr. Canepi and his wife pay for an excursion into the era, and since the funding for it is dropping, the scientists take whatever they can get. But Canepi is a doctor who specializes in extraterrestrials, convinced that they have visited Earth before, and he wants to use the radio telescope that was assembled there to send a message in the past, so that the reply may be picked up in the present. Their guide, a veteran of this study, is suitably skeptical. This isn't one of Utley's best stories, though it is pretty good. The conflict between the characters doesn't really go anywhere, and I thought the ending was rather short. The characters are well-drawn, and the dialogue is great, but the story itself could have used some work. Or at least an ending.

"Echo" - by Elizabeth Hand
This is a strange little story. Analogous to the story of Echo and Narkissos, a woman watches civilization end, isolated on a deserted island with limited electricity and contact with the outside world. She's also pining for a lover who speaks to her mostly through emails and letters as he gets further and further away from her. It's a story about loss and how some people deal with it. And the cycle gets repeated. This is a very moody piece, with no real plot, but just imagery. It's not bad in that imagery, and if it were any longer, it probably wouldn't work. However, it is just good enough to not wear out its welcome. The prose is also first-rate, as we really start to feel for this woman's loss and her longing for the man whom she will likely never meet again.

"Boatman's Holiday" - by Jeffrey Ford
Charon is a busy man. It's hard work ferrying souls across the river to Hell, and it's a never-ending job. However, once a century, he's allowed a day off. Usually, he games with some of the other demons of Hell, but this time, he's going on a little quest. There is an island in the river Lathe, an island that might offer an escape from Hell, or at least an escape *in* Hell. Is it right to offer even an employee of Hell hope? This is a beautiful story, wonderfully told. The imagery of Hell, not to mention the river that Charon navigates, is exceptional, and the ending is just perfect. There is little dialogue, as Charon is usually by himself, but the tale told by Charon is great. If this doesn't make you feel for a denizen of Hell, I don't know what will.

"Two Hearts" - by Peter S. Beagle
A sequel of sorts to Beagle's The Last Unicorn, as well as a bridge to the next novel set in this universe, this story is a fitting end to the issue. Young Sooz, a 9-year old girl (almost 10!), lives in a village that's being terrorized by a griffin (half eagle, half lion creature). After the king has sent many different men to deal with it (all of whom met grisly ends), she takes it upon herself to journey to the king and get him to come deal with it himself. She happens upon a couple in the woods, and finds they're going the same way, so she joins them. When they get to the castle, however, he is not the same vibrant king they all remember, old and tired, and he may not be the one who can vanquish the beast. I haven't read The Last Unicorn, so all of the characters were new to me (I gather the king and the couple are from that book, from what I've read). However, that wasn't a bother, as we are introduced to them through young Sooz, a vibrant young girl who will do anything to save her family and village. All of the characters are beautifully drawn, though it is funny that Sooz's first feeling about Molly is that she has a stiff face and that Sooz doesn't like her much, but then there never really is a change of mind on Sooz's part. Molly shows great caring for Sooz and Sooz never really says acknowledges her first feeling again. Still, the story is wonderful, the setting is interesting, and Beagle's prose (especially as told through Sooz's eyes) is masterful.

The Articles:
"Books to Look For" - by Charles de Lint
The Mysteries - by Lisa Tuttle
Day of the Dead - by J.A. Jance
Kiss of the Bees - by J.A. Jance
Four and Twenty Blackbirds - by Cherie Priest
Urban Shaman - by C.E. Murphy
The Surrogates - by Robert Venditti and Brett Weldele
Sex and the Slayer - by Lorna Jowett
Finding Serenity - edited by Jane Espenson
The Ice Queen - by Alice Hoffman

"Musings on Books" - by Michelle West
Spin - by Robert Charles Wilson
Cagebird - by Karin Lowachee

"Films" - by Lucius Shepard
London Voodoo
Nochnoy Dozor (renamed Night Watch in the States)

"Curiosities" - by Douglas A. Anderson
The Flying Cows of Biloxi - by Benson Bidwell (1907)