Words Written: Wednesday, AETW 1145; Thursday, AETW 1005

I can’t say this is turning into the best week of my life. Not the worst, definitely, but something positive would be a nice change right about now…

Let’s see. Yesterday morning I overslept (‘though by only 15 minutes; still, it threw off my morning schedule). Then I discovered that the night before, Ken had left a waterglass on my side of the desk (after doing work on the G4) and sometime in the night, one of the cats had knocked it over. Thankfully, nothing important got soaked (just a pad of colored notepaper, which made an interesting mark on the desk, and one note to myself), and the keyboard, which did get some water in it, seems to be fine. Phew.

Then, of course, Ken left yesterday. Not a whole lot I can be cheerful about there.

This morning, the phone rang at 2:30 a.m., startling my alone self. It was Ken, but he was gone by the time I got to the phone. I called back, left a message. I was already guessing that he’d dialed by mistake. Phone rang again. All I could hear was rustling, packing-type noises. I can’t remember now if he called a third time or I called again and actually got him. Yep, he’d used the phone’s alarm and forgot to lock the keys afterwards. He was fine, and I said, “Oh, good, because the only other option was that you were being kidnapped and turning the phone on was your attempt to let me know to call the police.” (I obviously watch too much TV, no?) But, urgh, 2:30 a.m. I did manage to get back to sleep pretty quickly, though, thank goodness.

Several friends have gotten good writing news recently, and while I’m overjoyed for them, there’s still a part of me that’s envious. That quickly leads into me being resentful of the job taking away so much time…

I still can’t seem to shake this weird semi-cold. It’s wearing me down.

Then, today, I discovered a bunch of e-mail got sent to my old e-mail account, and among the Styx-related things I’ve missed was the entire band on Jim Ladd’s Living Room…last night. Last night. My friends Tani and Sheri were there. I didn’t even get to hear it. There’s no guarantee I would’ve been able to get in, but not knowing about it meant I didn’t even have the opportunity to try. I hate missing opportunities.

I’m not entirely rational when it comes to Styx, anyway. (And yes, I hear you all laughing at that very obvious truism.) But really, part of me is still the shy 17-year-old living in a podunk town in upstate NY with over-cautious parents. The kid who saw her favorite band once (at a great distance [g]) before they broke up. I recently mentioned to someone that Ken and I are in the “I Am the Walrus” video, and she said, “I figured you were in a lot of them.” Nope. Every single time I get in the front row now, I have a moment of extraordinary astonishment, and a brief millisecond of tears in my eyes. There’s a part of me that believes it’s all been a fluke, that it won’t happen again. That I’ve hit the pinnacle by getting into the after-show party and flirting with Larry and that’s it. Done. Finis. I had my day in the sun. I mean, I can’t go to Europe to follow them around this summer. I’m going to far fewer concerts this year, and they’re going to forget who I am, and break up again (er, not because of me, though), and it’ll be all over.

Which Ken reminds me is stupid, but I still feel that way, and I suppose it could be worse and I could be all blasé about it.

And then, of course, I remind myself that there are people with a lot, lot worse problems than me, and I should just shut up and stop whinging.

And while I was writing all that (and bouncing between several things), I found this:

Sometimes I go about in pity for myself,
and all the while
a great wind is bearing me across the sky.
~~ Ojibwa saying

So let’s talk about the positives, shall we?

The writing is going well, despite any frustrations about not having nearly enough time. I think that once I finish this chapter of DFL (which will be this week) I’m going to go back and do another pass through to clean it all up. Not entirely sure whether I want to send the partial to the editor just yet; I’m guessing it would be better to write a few more chapters first, just to comfort myself that it’s still going in the right direction. I have to do a wee skosh of research first, before I decide.

The new Styx album kicks ass, and is getting good reviews, and there’ll be an album of new material by the end of the year, too. (Look how I managed to bring it back around to Styx! Look how obsessive I am!)

I had a lovely lunch with the other SCAdian at work, and we’re going to start walking together for exercise.

Ken’s ride is going well. At last phone call he was in Yreka, and would be to Portland by dusk. At that point he may decide to stop, or he may continue on.

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Later update: He’s south of Seattle, with about 2.5 hours to go. He’s going to make it in less than 24 hours. Insane, insane. But he’s happy!

And I’m going to bed. I am getting sleeeepy…

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Currently Reading: “Photoplay”, Phaedra M. Weldon

Lately Listened To: Styx, Big Bang Theory!

Recently Watched: “Medium”