"Which side shall prevail in this epic electoral tilt? Who shall control the future of fortress America? Will we be, as the Republicans desire, a nation of wealthy, heavily armed white men, befouling the air and water in a ceaseless quest for profit, beholden to no laws but those of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ? Or shall we instead embrace the Democrats' vision of a namby-pamby quasi-socialist Republic with an all-homosexual army, flamboyantly defending a citizenry suckling at the foul teat of government welfare? The choice is yours fair maiden America, for the name of this feudal system is democracy."

—Stephen Colbert, from the "Daily Show's" coverage of "Indecision 2002"

Maybe I should go ahead and pay for extended cable. I really miss that show.