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Allah Akbar! Happy?
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How's this for stupidity:

A statement attributed to al-Qaida threatened more attacks in New York and Washington unless America stops supporting Israel and converts to Islam, an Arab TV reporter who received the unsigned document said Saturday.

See, it's actually a quite easy, two-step process to get them to stop hating us and trying to destroy our civilization:

1) Give up the Jews
2) Convert to Islam

Hell, why didn't they just tell us that before 9/11?

Is it obvious to everyone by now that we're not dealing with people who have their heads screwed on straight? How exactly would they propose to check to see if we've all converted? Would a statement by Bush be enough? Or would they need to see daily videos of masses of people praying toward Mecca in Idaho, Louisiana, Washington, etc.?

But hey, if it'll stop the attacks...

Now where'd I put my prayer rug?

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