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Trent Lott Resigns via "BarneyCam"
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Amid a firestorm of controversy surrounding comments made at Strom Thurmond's 100th birthday gala, Trent Lott (R-Mississippi) resigned his Senate Majority Leader position, via a small camera attached to Barney, President Bush's dog.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Lott said, blubbering into the shaky, dog-POV camera. "I feel that my constituents and my party would best be served if I stepped aside as Senate Majority leader. I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry."

The controversial remarks came earlier this week, while Lott toasted the century-old Thurmond at a birthday party in his home state of South Carolina. Flanked by a pair of scantily-clad Carolina beauty pageant contestants, Lott raised his chalice of champagne and said that textiles "sure would be a heck of a lot cheaper nowadays if we had the really cheap labor forces of the pre-Civil War era". Lott then let out a heavy sigh. "Things sure were a heck of a lot better when some people knew their place," he said.

President Bush was surprised by the news, noting that information is not normally disclosed to him through Barney's camera.

But aides close to Lott say he was simply too humiliated to confront the President directly, preferring instead to break the news to the President's Scottie.

Lott concluded the announcement by placing Barney back on the floor and giving him a Milk Bone.

"Good boy," he said, before breaking into sobs yet again.

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