A Yank in Oz has an early copy of the next proposed U.N. Resolution, authored by the French and Germans (via Andrew Sullivan).

Here are the first few proposed actions:

Acting under Chapter VII of the Charter of the United Nations,

Directs the Executive Chairman of UNMOVIC to deliver a severe scolding to Iraq, using at least one, but no more than three, swear words, and accompanied with an appropriately serious facial expression; the Chairman may also make a number of "tsk" noises, not to exceed five, at his discretion;

Recalls the Council's first eleven resolutions on this subject, and resolves not to fall for Iraq's "pretending to cooperate with the inspectors" trick a twelfth time;

Permits the UNMOVIC and IAEA inspectors to be lightly armed, with one of the following (their choice):
--Harsh language, not to exceed the limits in paragraph 1;
--Pepper spray;
--A plastic knife from the UN cafeteria (blade not to exceed 10cm);
--Sean Penn;
--A whistle or other noisemaking device;
--The Nerf® "Lock 'N Load" Dart Blaster (max. 3 darts);
In accordance with UN peacekeeping policies, inspectors are not permitted to use these weapons, but may brandish them menacingly and glare in the general direction of hostile forces;