I echo Josh Chafetz in asking:

WHAT THE F**K IS THIS? And what is it doing on the op-ed page of the NYT?

If seeking the presidency is like reaching for the stars, then why not look to the stars — and the other heavenly bodies — for insights on the candidates. The Democratic hopefuls face seven primaries today. Here's what their astrological charts can tell voters about their character — and who may have a celestial advantage:

Wesley Clark was born on Dec. 23, 1944, with Sun in Capricorn and Moon in Aries, two leadership and executive signs. He has a warrior signature: when civilized it indicates a master strategist; at its most martial, it is ruthlessly determined and messianic. For him, this year is an astrological rite of passage into elder status. His conservative Capricorn nature is now at its most rigorous, so what we see is who he is. Endowed with wit and a youthful nature, General Clark is a man's man. His horoscope shows him at a high point of achievement, having opportunities to be influential and willing to take what he can get.

And so on and so forth for the rest of the candidates. I guess the Times figured it was already a laughingstock and just decided to say, "Fuck it" and go straight over the top.