Looking for a third party alternative in the Fall? I'd love one. So I went poking around a bit. You've probably heard of the Greens, the Libertarians, the Socialists...even the Natural Law Party.

But if you're like me, you really didn't know what you were missing out on. There are several parties that run on exactly the sort of platform I've been hungry for: Jesus!

For example, there's the American Party:

PRINCIPLES

GOD IS OUR FOUNDATION

Those authoring this Constitution declare the American Party to have been brought into existence upon the foundation of its organizers' belief in Almighty God and in Jesus Christ, upon their total commitment to the whole counsel of God's Word, and upon their determination that the American Party shall function, so long as it shall endure, in conformity with His Will. The American Party is and shall remain a political entity which is essentially Christian-oriented. It is our fervent hope that God will use the American Party to bless and save our free Republic.

Amen!

There's also the Constitution Party:

We, the members of the Constitution Party, gratefully acknowledge the blessing of the Lord God as Creator, Preserver and Ruler of the Universe and of this Nation. We solemnly declare that the foundation of our political position and moving principle of our political activity is our full submission and unshakable faith in our Savior and Redeemer, our Lord Jesus Christ. We hereby appeal to Him for mercy, aid, comfort, guidance and the protection of His Divine Providence as we work to restore and preserve this Nation as a government of the People, by the People, and for the People.

With liberty, and justice, for WASPs.

But if these two parties are a little too fast and loose for you, there's always the Prohibition Party, sort of the opposite of the Libertarians.

Their slogan? We want to ban everything!

--For Right to Life
--Against Commercial Gambling
--Against the Homosexual Agenda
--Against Commercial Pornography
--For the Right to Prayer and Bible Reading in the Public Schools
--Against Commercial Sale of Alcohol and Other Harmful Drugs

Damn...they don't want anybody to have any fun, do they? Except maybe school bible group leaders. But what are they basing their platform on? Jesus, of course.

We, the delegates to the Prohibition National Convention, assembled in Arvada, Colorado, June 12, 2003, recognize Almighty God as the Source of all just government and declare our faith in the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. If elected, we will serve
the needs and preserve the constitutionally guaranteed freedoms of the citizens of the United States of America.

You mean, like the First Amendment?

And people say there aren't any choices out there...