I was watching a discussion on C-SPAN this morning regarding stem cell research, and the issue of exactly when life begins cropped up.

But a woman called in and put the whole thing in perspective. It's not the issue of when life begins (after all, the sperm and egg are both alive). The real issue is when the soul enters the developing human life.

Yes. Thank you, anonymous lady.

So I have a simple proposal which would help solve both the abortion issue, the stem cell issue, and countless other bioethical conundrums.

The U.S. agrees to put up $10 billion of grant money for spirit workers, witch doctors, shamans, monks, or Catholic clergy to engineer an Ensoulment-O-Meter. Such a device could be built from sacred chicken bones, eye of newt, whatever, but essentially it would allow us to determine the exact moment that the soul either floats down from the sky, is breathed into the child from the mouth of god, or sort of just pops in there out of nowhere. Wouldn't that be great?

Then we could end all this controversy, once and for all, the way it should be resolved...scientifically.