This Onion article
was pretty funny when it first came out in February (the original doesn't seem to be available, so this is a copy):
Saddam Hussein Rules over Cell with Iron Fist
Officials overseeing Saddam Hussein told reporters Monday that the detained former Iraqi leader rules over his cell "with an iron fist."
"Saddam is a very powerful man with a larger-than-life presence, and when he's in that cell, there's no mistaking who's in charge," said a special-forces officer who commands the watch of Hussein at an undisclosed location in Iraq. "We gave Saddam a small bag of nuts. While he was asleep, the rats got into the nuts and ate some of them. In retaliation, Saddam caught one of the rats' young, tortured it, and left it strapped to the wall with dental floss for days. Then, after it was dead, he stuffed its severed head with nuts and paraded it around the cell to warn the other rats."
"But Saddam will also be kind to the vermin and occasionally toss them an almond to fight over," the officer said. "In this way, he teaches the rats both to love and to fear him."
But now an actual report
of Saddam's activities has been released, and it's damn near as weird as the stuff in the Onion article:
Desserts might include oranges, apples, pears or plums, although Amin said Saddam likes American muffins and cookies.
Amin said Saddam exercises in his cell, and uses a daily three-hour exercise period to tend a small outdoor garden. Saddam is kept apart from other detainees, who can mix freely with each other during the exercise periods.
"He is looking after a few bushes and shrubs and has even placed a circle of white stones around a small palm tree," Amin said.
Hussein is paying particular attention to bushes and shrubs. Hmm...
But it gets even weirder:
min said Saddam had taken to reading the Koran and writing poetry since his first court appearance on July 1.
"One of the poems is about George Bush, but I had no time to read it," Amin said.
He's writing poetry about George Bush. I was going to speculate on the contents of such a poem, but I'll leave it to your imaginations.