Silly Thinking

Hello everyone and happy weekend. And now it's time for our regular Saturday feature: The Internet Award winning feature "A Few Moments With Dead Celebrities".

And now join me in welcoming one of the most disgraced American Presidents ever to grace the White House. A man with no morals or scrupels. I give you The one, the only, and one of our own, DEAD RICHARD M. NIXON!!!!



Hello hello. I'm no crook. I earned every penny! Hello everyone.

I came here today to tell you all that I'm dead and will be retiring from public life very soon. That's right you won't have Dead Richard Nixon to push around anymore.

Now please get on your knees with me and pray:

Oh dear Lord please take me into heaven. I've been waiting for many years. I've been out here in this waiting room with the Saturday Evening Post...and Sports Illustrated and...

LET ME IN!

I won't be denied...I....You know lord, my little daughter Tricia got a little coat, a cloth coat, and she called it Checkers and I don't care what you say about, were going to keep it.

HAHAHHAHAHAHHHHA.

But seriously... I thought somebody would ask me about the milk... But... really, Mr. Kliendinks...uhh I mean...Mister.. God... you.. well.. alright then. I will release some of the tapes but not all. Alright.. alright.

You want me? COME AND GET ME!!! You always hated me. You were always against me, and now... you've got me!!

You know it's funny... it's kind of.. well it's not for me but for the President. It's not me, it's the President.

Look.. compared to what the hell they've got now I look like I had integreity. That's right integrity. Oh sure I didn't have money just a good Republican cloth coat.. but...well... ALRIGHT YOUR ALL AGAINST ME!!

You know... I.. fuck... it was all for the good of the presidency... and Elvis Presley was a spy but he was... A FREAK. A fucking freak... AND YOU LET HIM IN:

"Oh, sure thing Elvis. No waiting for you. Come right in. Pass old Trickie Dickie right by. Don't mind him."

And John Ritter? With him it was:
"Right this way.. pass right by Trickie Dickie and Der Bingle."

John Ritter for CHRIST'S SAKE!!!

I earned everything I got. And I fought for what I thought was best for me...and the president. The president can't do these things.

LET ME IN DAMN IT!!!! YOU HATE ME DON'T YOU? LET ME THE HELL IN!!!

Amen.


Uh..OK.. Thank you Dead Richard Nixon for those interesting insights.

And remember kids, we'll be back tommorow for another "A Few Minutes With Dead Celebrities."


I gave a lot of money to the arts you know? A lot. I earned everything I got.
I"M NOT A CROOK!!!!