Silly Thinking

A Special Behind the Scenes Presentation

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MB: Good evening ladies and gentlemen. As you can see the studio is dark, the audience isn't here and the bandstand is empty.
Tonight my guests are the people who work on my show. The people who make you laugh, sing, and think. Tonight I will take you on a backstage tour of "The Marlon Brando Show" so you can see the hard working working people who make me look so good.
Like the ushers here in the General Service Studios where we tape our show. Hi kids.


(the group of ushers mumble hello's)


MB: So without you kids we don't have a show. You make sure the audience is in thier seats. How do you do it?


Julie: Well Mister Brando. The audience shows up for the taping at 4 pm. We look them over and decide who's in the front rows. We want strong good looking people so if you throw something or attack an audience member they can take care of themselves.


MB: Ha ha ha. I do get a little physical sometimes.


Julie: Yeah, no little old ladies in the front row for you Mister Brando.


MB: Ha ha. Who asked you punk? Keep up the good work kids. Now over here is where my announcer Leonard Peltier announce the guests. Hi, Leonard.


LP: Hello, Marlon. Hello.


MB: Leonard, you're my right hand man. Without you, Chemosabe, I couldn't come out here every Friday.


LP: Yes. I feel the same the way. Yes.


MB: All right, chief. Thanks for doing such a good job, my friend.


LP: All right. Yes.


MB: Now here is my producer Syd Byus. Syd puts all the pieces of the program together


LP: Yes.


MB: Leonard, that's enough. Syd, welcome to this side of the camera.


SB: Well, without you we don't have a show. You are the star Marlon. That's it.


MB: No, no, no. I can't do this without you people. I'm nothing without that sweet little girl over there or that big guy on the boom. Hi ya, Larry!


Larry the Boom Operator: Hi ya, Mister Brando. CAN YA HEAR ME?


MB: Ha ha ha. Great. Yeah I can hear you.So you see Syd your wrong.


SB: Look. I don't do the show. You do. That's it.


MB: Come here and let me kiss you. You big pussycat. Come here Mister You.


SB: You take one step and I'll break this bottle and cut you. That's it.


MB: All right, tough guy.


SB: I'm not kidding.


MB: Am I laughing? Now here's a guy who does an important job. He books the guests. Bob Rudabegg.
Hi Bob.


BR: Hi, Mister Brando.


MB: How do you book the guest's for the show. What's the process?


BR: Well first we have meetings and decide who might be available and who you'd want on the show.


MB: Yeah and sometimes you listen you maggot.


BR: Ha ha.


MB:...


BR: Then we put the names on computer disc and start a file on them. Tracking the contacts and conversations we have with agents, bookers, and friends. We then take that information and microfilm it for the files. Once a guest is booked all of the information on that guest is added to his or her file including colors that compliment the guest, favorite foods, emotional stability, and print out that information for your briefing book.
Then we have a meeting with you where you go over the information. Much of the time you rip out pages and we "go to the mat". Most of the time the guests you oked you don't want on the show.


MB: That's because all you book are pimps and whores and maggots. I want people of quality.


BR: We used to have civilized conversations but now much of the time we fight. Physical fights.


MB: Yeah you pansy ass and I'll take you on anytime.


BR:...


MB: Ha ha ha. Over here is my director Mike Domino.


MD: Hi ya, Marlon.


MB: What the hell do you do? I never see you.


MD: I'm in the trailer? Shooting the show?


MB: Like Kazan. He was a genius. One time he took me aside on "Streetcar". He said 'your mad really mad. And sick' then he explained what he wanted me to do in the scene. I'll never forget that.


MD: Ha ha ha.


MB: Well folks thats all we have time for. I was hoping to show you the accountants, but.. well I hope this little visit with my family helps you and your family live a better life. We'll be back with our usual show soon. See ya then.
Good night.


LP: This has been a Mar-Bran Jim-Far...


MB: In association with pimps and whores. Ha ha ha ha.