Silly Thinking

DA: Hello and welcome to Silly Thinking’s internet award winning feature: “A Few Moments With Dead Celebrities”.

Now it’s time to visit with a former President of The United States. The man who (with the help of big business) single handedly drove this country into the worst depression in it’s history.
A man who promised a chicken in every pot and ended up taking our pots.
Here he is, let’s hear it for, HERBERT HOOVER!

Hello Mister Hoover.


HH: Hello.


DA: It’s a pleasure to have you with us today. Mister Hoover the U.S. of A. is facing a similar disaster that you faced in your term as President. Do you have any advice for our current Commander in Chief?


HH: I may have driven this country into the depression, but I’m no George W. Bush and I’m offended by the comparison.


DA: I’m sorry Mister Hoover, but, we are in a time and place where millions are losing jobs, the economy looks like it’s heading for the rocks, and the President doesn’t seem to be concerned.


HH: I WAS concerned. I was very concerned. That’s the difference, you see? This chuckle head is doing nothing and could care less. I did nothing but was very concerned. It was my policy that business could correct itself and didn’t need the federal government telling it what to do.
That policy was carefully crafted for me by the business interests. And as I looked on helplessly they caused the depression.
George W. Bush has caused this to happen with business. He is as much responsible as they are. I was not.


DA: Mister former President, it sounds very similar to me.


HH: I was classy. I looked presidential. I had state dinners and rode in cars and looked like a president. This knot head looks like an auto mechanic in a suit, at his sister’s wedding, for Christ’s sake.


DA: Mister Former President…


HH: And I could speak the English language, don’t forget that. I could speak English. Well, I might add.
Why this man can’t put a sentence together. Why he’s a disgrace to puppets everywhere. Do you think Edgar Bergen would have been a success if Charlie McCarthy spoke like this yo- yo?
The answer is no my friend. Decidedly no.


DA: Alright. Mister Hoover…


HH: And, I didn’t start a war. No, not me. Just like now, there were places that looked bad. But did I create a war and go fight it? No sir.


DA: Mister Hoover, is there any advice for George W. Bush?


HH: Yes sir. If the economy keeps sliding into ruins like it is now, stop listening to business. They are wrong. Their always wrong anyway. And since this idiot won’t take that advice, when the economy crashes, watch out for falling bodies.


DA: Pretty grim.


HH: What the hell? It’s a pro business Republican administration. What the hell do you expect?
We scare you half to death, deplete the treasury, weaken the country, and cause you to loose your jobs while we get rich and richer.
Republicans: Watch out for falling bodies!


DA: Thank you Herbert Hoover.


HH: I played croquet! Did I tell you about the croquet?


DA: We're out of time.


HH: Damn liberal.


DA: We’ll be back next weekend with more dead people for you. Be sure to stay with Silly Thinking all week for the best bloggy features on the net.
For all of us here at A few Moments with Dead Celebrities… have a nice Sunday.

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Jim Farris presents Silly Thinking With Douglas Lain. Watch out for falling bodies!