Silly Thinking
*with Jim Farris*
2011727 Curiosities served
Miss Bette Davis
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A Few Moments With Dead Celebrities.
Now your host, Dead Announcer.
DA: Hello dead lovers! And welcome to ST’s wildly uneven feature where we commune with famous dead people. Today a lustrous star of the silver screen is here. An Academy Award winning actress and screen icon. Miss Bette Davis.
Hello Miss Davis.
BD: Hello. Dead Announcer.
DA: Miss Davis you still radiate star power.
BD: Thank… you. But lets cut the bullshit and get down to brass facts.
DA: Still a strong and opinionated woman.
BD: Yes, who’d you expect? Miss Mary Milktoast? I’m still a ball buster. Ask your questions or go… to… hell!
DA: Well…
BD: And I’ve been there and you don’t want to go there.
DA: Hell?
BD: Well I assume so, Jack Warner, Reagan, that cocksucker Mussolini, and Joan Crawford all live there. If that ain’t hell, what… is?
DA: Yes, well.. sounds awful. Who do you spend your time with now?
BD: I get along well with Elvis. We have lunch a few times a week. Nice boy. Shy, but well built if you get my meaning.
DA: Yes.
BD: I mean he has a big dick. God, your slow. Or should I say God, he’s slow.
DA: Uh, anybody else?
BD: Yes of course. I love Jack Kennedy, but I always did. And Judy’s a lot of fun, still frying her brain.
DA: Judy Garland?
BD: Yes Judy Garland. Who’d you think I meant? Judy fucking Canova?
DA: And what kind of activities occupy your time?
BD: Well, I’m up for a few parts in some movies. But even here the good parts are few and far between and they still cast young women with big tits with older men, just like on earth.
DA: That’s fascinating. I didn’t know they made films there. What films have you been in recently?
BD: Well, there was “Hello Mister Chips” where Chips continues to teach eager young minds that are dead, and I was in “Whatever Happened To Baby Jane After She Was Dead”, and I had a good part in “The Corn Is Rotting Because It’s Dead” where I reprise my role as a dead teacher teaching dead students in a dead town.
DA: And what will you do next?
BD: if those fatheads that run the studios will cast me I’ll be appearing in “Who’s Afraid OF Virginia Woolf, Now That She’s Dead”, it’s the part of an undead lifetime.
DA: It sounds like your busy.
BD: And fucking loving every minute of it.
DA: Thank you Miss Bette Davis.
BD: Fuck… off.
DA: OK. See you next time on “A Few Minutes With Dead Celebrities”.
STIS DEAD!
Now your host, Dead Announcer.
DA: Hello dead lovers! And welcome to ST’s wildly uneven feature where we commune with famous dead people. Today a lustrous star of the silver screen is here. An Academy Award winning actress and screen icon. Miss Bette Davis.
Hello Miss Davis.
BD: Hello. Dead Announcer.
DA: Miss Davis you still radiate star power.
BD: Thank… you. But lets cut the bullshit and get down to brass facts.
DA: Still a strong and opinionated woman.
BD: Yes, who’d you expect? Miss Mary Milktoast? I’m still a ball buster. Ask your questions or go… to… hell!
DA: Well…
BD: And I’ve been there and you don’t want to go there.
DA: Hell?
BD: Well I assume so, Jack Warner, Reagan, that cocksucker Mussolini, and Joan Crawford all live there. If that ain’t hell, what… is?
DA: Yes, well.. sounds awful. Who do you spend your time with now?
BD: I get along well with Elvis. We have lunch a few times a week. Nice boy. Shy, but well built if you get my meaning.
DA: Yes.
BD: I mean he has a big dick. God, your slow. Or should I say God, he’s slow.
DA: Uh, anybody else?
BD: Yes of course. I love Jack Kennedy, but I always did. And Judy’s a lot of fun, still frying her brain.
DA: Judy Garland?
BD: Yes Judy Garland. Who’d you think I meant? Judy fucking Canova?
DA: And what kind of activities occupy your time?
BD: Well, I’m up for a few parts in some movies. But even here the good parts are few and far between and they still cast young women with big tits with older men, just like on earth.
DA: That’s fascinating. I didn’t know they made films there. What films have you been in recently?
BD: Well, there was “Hello Mister Chips” where Chips continues to teach eager young minds that are dead, and I was in “Whatever Happened To Baby Jane After She Was Dead”, and I had a good part in “The Corn Is Rotting Because It’s Dead” where I reprise my role as a dead teacher teaching dead students in a dead town.
DA: And what will you do next?
BD: if those fatheads that run the studios will cast me I’ll be appearing in “Who’s Afraid OF Virginia Woolf, Now That She’s Dead”, it’s the part of an undead lifetime.
DA: It sounds like your busy.
BD: And fucking loving every minute of it.
DA: Thank you Miss Bette Davis.
BD: Fuck… off.
DA: OK. See you next time on “A Few Minutes With Dead Celebrities”.
STIS DEAD!
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