Silly Thinking*with Jim Farris* 2011734 Curiosities served |
2004-07-24 1:21 AM The 1964 Democratic Ticket! Previous Entry :: Next Entry Read/Post Comments (0) Hi everyone and welcome to our internet award winning feature "A Few Moments With Dead Celebrities".
Today we have a true dead American hero with us. A great American who drove this country into a reckless and illegal war (No, W. is not dead yet)the only legally elected President from the great state of Texas. A man who Oliver Stone claims conspired to help murder John F. Kennedy... Ladies and Gentlemen get up and help me welcome dead former President of the United States Mister LYNDON BAINES JOHNSON!!!!! Good evening my fellow Americans. I come to you today with a heavy heart. Due to the tremendous pressures put upon me and my presidency (of which I've yet to recover from)I have decided not to accept this opportunity to speak on "Silly Thinking With Douglas Lain Now Union Made". Even though I respect the unions in this country, I will not seek or accept this engagement and if called upon I will not write. I have instructed my vice president, dead Hubert Humphrey, to speak in my absence. Helooo my fellow Americans how are you today? Not as good as you would be if a Democrat was running things that's for sure. The Democratic party is the path to a brighter future. Harry Truman dropped the big one and moved us into a new century of protracted nuclear hell. John F. Kennedy ( a man I knew personally) when he wasn't getting some snatch... brought us to the brink of nuclear anihalation and then was murdered... thank you very much. Lyndon Baines Johnson the man I had the great pleasure to serve under as vice President of these great United States, was...well, he was an unholy mess, an accident waiting to happen, who died a sad broken man. Jimmy Carter, now can build houses for the poor and be a true man of peace but, as President was attacked by geese and cancelled the Olympics. Then there was Bill Clinton and more snatch. For more snatch and more social services vote Democrat in the next election, you'll be glad you did. Thank you and God bless (well I know that's not true but we all say it anyway) God bless the United States of America. Thank you dead Democratic ticket for 1964. We'll see you all here next week for more dead celebrites.And be sure to join us Monday thru Friday for great features like "Tuesday Celebrinet" with Si Gold, "Wednesdays with Doug Lain", Monday and Thursdays "Off The Top of My Head" with Jim Farris, and "The Entertainment Roundup Report" every Friday. The best in internet news, information, and entertainment. "Silly Thinking With Douglas Lain now Union Made", it's THE place to be on the net! Read/Post Comments (0) Previous Entry :: Next Entry Back to Top |
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