Silly Thinking

STNews presents

This is BREAKING NEWS From ST!

BAGHDAD ATTACK; MT ST HELENS

Here, from our New York World News Headquarters in New Jersey, is Connie Chung.



CC: Good morning. Moments ago a rocket attack shattered the calm of evening in what was “the safe zone” in Baghdad when the Sheraton and Palestinian Hotels were attacked by rocket and mortar fire.
These two hotels house most western journalists and contractors. The “green zone” was one of the last safe areas in the city. Shanaaz Habbib was in the Sheraton when it was hit.
Shanaaza.



SH: Good morning Connie Chung. I was walking through the lobby when gunfire erupted as a rocket attack started. The windows were shattered and American soldiers started to launch a counter offensive on the streets between the two hotels.



CC: Anyone hurt, Shanananaz?


SH: The rockets hit the third and fourth floors of the Sheraton, even though we have heard ambulances we have no report of injuries. Brent Sadler and Christiana Anoupour, or whatever the hell her name is, from CNN, were not hurt, but were together in Brent’s room. That is odd is it not Connie?



CC: Sha na na, I’ve always known that those two were hot hot hot for each other.


SH: Whooo! You go girl friend!



CC: Anybody else hurt, BIATCH?


SH: What you talking about Willis?



CC: Now to the volcano. Even though the alert level is still at 2 there is news from Mt. St Helens. Our Jim Farris is there.
Jim.





JF: Yes, Connie a press conference is being held right now. The lava dome, pressure caps that volcano’s make of lava and rock, has risen 250 ft. above the surface and is getting larger, a sure sign of more to come. . It is now as high as the lava dome that was created in the 1980 event here. Steam emissions are now not just coming from the newly made crevices, the large holes in the mountain, but are spraying from the cracks in the mountain face. These are slender vents and the ash and gas that come out of these smaller vents spew about one hundred feet in the air. But, it’s no longer white steam but brown and black steam, which scientists say means the magma is closer and heading towards a larger explosion.



CC: Anyone hurt BIATCH?



JF: What?



CC: Two coordinated attacks on the western journalists in Iraq, while in the western Untied States the Devil is ready for his entrance as the volcano steam turns black.
We’ll have more on the end of life on earth as develops warrant. And join me and Bill Pullman tomorrow for special coverage of the Presidential Debates as two men talk as Rome burns.
For now, I’m Connie Chung. BIATCH!

ST IS!