Silly Thinking

STNews presents


ST1 on 1


Now, from our New York STNews World Headquarters in New Jersey is chief meterologist and your host, Connie Chung.



CC: Good evening and welcome to “One On One”. I’m Connie Chung.
Today were going to talk to President Bush’s nominee to be his commerce secretary, the former CEO of Kellogg’s Cereal Company, Carlos Gutierrez.


CG: Good morning Miss Chung. The Best To you Each Morning.



CC: Mister Commerce Secretary Nominee, how does it feel to be the latest Bushie?


GC: It’s fantastic Connie Chung. I’m glad to be joining the White House team. They’re GREAT!



CC: Please, Mister Commerce Secretary Nominee, don’t yell.


GC: They’re GREAT!!



CC: OK. Calm down. Now your leaving the world of cereal to enter the world of global trade. Do you think you’ll be able to weather the changes?


GC: Uhh, yes Connie Chung. Cereal, Pop Tarts, It all keeps you regular. And that’s what American Trade policies need.



CC: Shit?


GC: Regularity.



CC: Now, your credited with turning Kellogg’s around. Turning it from a small family business to an International player. But even though Wall Street gives you high marks, the workers who lost their jobs in Battle Creek Michigan, the home of Kellogg’s, gave you low marks when you closed the Cornflake factory and laid 500 people off. How do you respond?


CG: Look. They’re GREAT! The Best To You Each Morning. But they were losers who had to go.



CC: Leaving Rice Krispee’s behind for Condoleeza Rice. Which one of those Rice Krispee, uh… uh. What the hell are those guys on Rice Krispee’s boxes?


CG: Fairies. Rice fairies.



CC: Which Rice Fairy does she most remind you of?


GC: Snap, what a happy sound. Snap is the happiest sound I’ve found. But she’s Pop. Defiantly Pop.



CC: Now your Cuban….


GC: And Dick Cheney is Crackle.



CC: Your father exported Pineapples and was rich. Then Castro came to power and when you were eight and your family had to leave with $8000 dollars and 31 suitcases.


GC: Sad day.



CC: Yeah 31 suitcases and $8000 dollars. Sound like my honeymoon.


GC:



CC: Castro not so awful, maybe Carlos? He let you take all your clothes.


GC: I’ll never forget….



CC: Clothes-imento Senor "Anti People's Revolucion-onie"?


GC: What’s your point?



CC: Did Castro remind you of the Fruit Loops toucan?


GC: Toucan Sam?



CC: Yeah, him.


GC: A little bit.



CC: Thank you Carlos Castaneda. I’m Senorita Chung. MUY BONITA!


GC: A little bit.

ST IS GREAT!!!