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*with Jim Farris*




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A Few Moments With: Bing Crosby
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“STXMAS countdown to CHRISTMAS JOYLAND OF SPECIALS” ON ST!

Now let's join Dead Der Bingle for a special holiday message!



Dead Celebrities Now!




Happy Saturday Silly Thinkers!

It's time for your favorite weekend treat.
No not porn on the internet. You silly!

No it's time for "'Jim Farris Presents Silly Thinking with Douglas Lain' A Few Moments With Dead Celebrities" our internet award winning feature!! You silly!

And now I have the honor to present one of America's greatest dead treasures. A man who has come to represent Christmas to us all. Mister "White Christmas" himself. The Olde Der Bingle. Mister BING CROSBY!!!




BC: Well hello "Silly Thinking" this is Bing Crosby saying "It's the freshest kind of Orange Juice."
And now I'd like to sing a Christmas classic for you. One I had the honor to sing in, not one, but two films. Back in 1942 I introduced this little ditty in "Holiday Inn" with Fred Astaire over there at Paramount where I made all those "Road" pictures with Mister Robert Hope.
And then back at Paramount in 1954 with Mister Danny Kaye and Rosie Clooney in a real piece of crap that we milked all the phoney emotion we could out of a tired piece of old hard shit that never should of seen the light of a VistaVision camera. But did. And we had the nerve to wrap this beautiful tune around a military story of an old washed up army general and his funny but loveable old soldiers played by that insufferable ham Danny Kaye and boring old me.
Making a beautiful Christmas tune into a song about war and death was just part of the fun of this Technicolor debacle that also included that little whore Vera-Ellen and Rosie doing a decidedly lesbian take on the song "Sisters".
All together it was a horrible mistake and an awful piece of fucking crap.
Here I am singing "White Christmas" and happy hoilidays to all you shallow miserable people from olde Der Bingle.

Hear Bing Sing!

Well thanks Bing! That was really... er.... special.

[NOTE: Those little dots make it seem as though I'm talking and at a loss for words. Kind of. DICKENS DID IT IN "TALE OF TWO CITIES" AND "OLIVER TWIST"... ER... I GUESS.]



Join us tommorow for more dead celebrities and all week for "Monday Off The Top Of My Head Mondays", "Celebrinet", Douglas Lain's daytime soap opera based on the peace movement, "Thursday Off The Top Of My Head Thursdays", and "The Marlon Brando Show".
Also look for Douglas Lain's new novel "Polypony" in book stores now.
Also buy "The Best Of Silly Thinking" now on DVD!
If you enjoy "Silly Thinking" you might also enjoy:
"The Santa Claus Two" starring Tim Allen from Disney DVD and home video. Tell a friend to watch it too!

Don't miss "The Fear Factor" special HOLIDAY EDITION on NBC!

Be sure to vote for your favorites for "The First Annual Silly Awards" coming this January to Silly Thinking and brought to by GENERAL MOTORS. The GM mark of EXELLENCE! And by STOVE TOP STUFFING. Now you'll never make stuffing the old fashioned way. STOVE TOP now in Shrimp and Italian Flavors!

And by these local sponsors in your area:
ELMER'S FLAG AND BANNER. ELMER'S! FOR YOUR FLAG AND BANNER NEEDS IN PORTLAND SINCE 1956!

ELMER'S PANCAKE AND STEAK HOUSE. Elmers- were not the same as the banner and flag place. It's different.

Locally owned and operated SUBWAY SANDWICH SHOPS.
Jerrod lost a million pounds. YOU CAN TOO! MENTION THIS AD AND RECIEVE A FREE BAG OF FRITOS.
SUBWAY. WHERE JERROD LOST A MILLION POUNDS!


Or you could ENLARGE YOUR PENIS? CLICK HERE!

"Jim Farris Presents "Silly Thinking with Douglas Lain". IT'S ALL HERE!!!!!


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