Silly Thinking

STNews presents


ST1 on 1

Now, from our New York STNews World Headquarters in New Jersey is chief meterologist and your host, Connie Chung.



CC: Good morning. Tonight my guest is the president and founder of “The 700 Club”, one of the most successful televangelists in the country, and former Republican candidate for President: Reverend Pat Robertson. Good afternoon, Pat.


PR: Hello Connie Chung, ha, it’s nice to see you again.



CC: Pat, yesterday, you issued an assassination order on the President of Venezuela. You said we should kill him, using the CIA. Is that right?


PR: Yes Connie Chung I did. This man, this tyrant, this evil man, this godless man, is saying he will turn away from America and not sell his oil to us and align himself with Iran against the west. And I think we should kill him.



CC: Good Reverend Robertson, you are a man of God. Do you think God condones murder?


PR: Well Connie, it would be cheaper than a war.



CC: Cheaper than a war?


PR: God damn right Connie. And I don’t think we’d loose a drop of oil.



CC: And you think God thinks that’s OK?


PR: Connie Chung, God damns evil men. So of course he thinks assassinating this man is good. I do God’s work.



CC: Do you think God believes if women join the Women’s movement they will become lesbians and kill their children?


PR: Well Connie… Chung, I don’t think God…



CC: You said that in a speech to the Republican convention twelve years ago.


PR: God thinks women ought to be mommy’s and daddy’s. Not magazine publishers and mechanics.



CC: Good reverend have you gone off your rocker completely?


PR: Connie… ha… Chung… I… well no. Just because lesbians kill baby’s and tyrants get out of line doesn’t mean I’ve gone cuckoo. Cuckoo birds are nutsy, I’m just like Boss Hogg in that new movie “The Dukes OF Hazzard”. Did you see that one?



CC: No, I missed it. Oh, I remember what we did that night. Maury and I had a staring contest.


PR: Yes, well it was a funny one. Those Duke boys are so funny. But I’m not a cuckoo bird Connie.



CC: Alright Pat Robertson. Thank you for being with us and declaring a Jihad on Venezuela.


PR: Not a Jihad. God’s will, God’s will that supreme court judges will die and this man will be murdered. I loved the Duke boys. Daisy don’t wear nothing. God’s will.



CC: He’s way gone. Pat Robertson, please pick up your brain pan at the yellow courtesy desk. For now, I’m Connie Woodpecker. Ha hah ha ha ha!
Goodnight and god bless.

ST NEWS IS…a cuckoo bird!